God's Love
by shortslover911
Summary: Kari was a normal girl; she worked hard, she had her friends and foes... Then she was taken away by the Fierce Deity. At first, Kari shows hatred to the god, but when her guard is lowered by his funny manor, Kari shows kindness. Rated T to be safe. OCXFD
1. GL1: Swept Away

Important: I DO NOT OWN THE LEGEND OF ZELDA OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS. THIS STORY IS A ROMANCE COMEDY, AND IS RATED T FOR TEENAGER.

Author Notes: I made this... and I'm posting this... My best friend loves this story... Hehe, funny Oni-

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"I can't believe it! The poor Ahmels family!"

"The poor Ahmels family- think of the Dedricks! Kari has been selected as a sacrifice!"

"No! Kari, the flower shop worker? Daughter of Fay and Derrick? She's younger than the last selected sacrifice, surely it must just be rumors, I mean- Oh wait, hush, here she comes!"

Going back a little over a month, it was a casual day in Kari Dedrick's life. A hovering canvas of blue above with white puffy cotton balls filled the space above a small farm shack surrounded by one small field of tomatoes and a never-ending meadow of flowers, trees, and bushes. New yearlings of animals cleverly navigated the area to avoid contact with predators or people while humans went about their usual schedules in the town of Termina. Horses, cows, and chickens at Romani's ranch scavenged the tall grasses for breakfast while creatures in the woods hunted out on each other or the variety of plant life.

A girl just about sixteen with lengthy chestnut hair and pale gray-green eyes kneeled down beside the flowers and picked a few to put into a homemade willow weaved basket. She wore a long white gown with a homespun pale green apron unintentionally discolored brown from dirt. The girl had been working in the section for about two hours, collecting the needed flowers for her work. Finally satisfied with a bouquet of colorful flowers organized by color, she stood up and began walking to the main road.

"Kari! Kari! Hey Kari! Over here Kari!" A familiar voice called from the nearby river. Over the hill, came a smiling boy two years older than her.

"Oh, hey Hanz, how are you?" Kari smiled as she asked her neighbor and friend, "well I'm guessing?"

"Yeah!" Hanz grinned almost as if the whole world was on his side, "Spring fish Kari, the trout are back for mating and I've caught a bonanza! Anyway, on the way to town again?"

"Yeah, the shop needs more supplies and the meadow around my grandmother's house is always the best. I should be going to Hanz, or are you going to sell some fish? We should go together then!"

"S... Sure! Yeah!" Hanz nodded hurriedly before snatching up his buckets of fish. "You shouldn't be walking alone anyway, we have to go through the forest and there's tons of monsters in there."

"Creatures Hanz," Kari's face grew cross for a moment, "Just because they attack people doesn't make them monsters," said Kari as she began strolling once more.

"S-Sorry Kari... You have a really big heart y'know? I wish I was as tolerating as you."

"It's not toleration, it's acceptan..." Kari frowned and grew quiet.

"Kari? Kari, what's wrong?"

"... Hanz, can I tell you something? And you won't tell? Not a soul? Not anyone as long as I'm here?"

"You're here... wait, what are you talking about? Of course I won't tell anyone, you're my best friend! I promise!"

"..." Tears started bubbling in Kari's eyes and she dropped the basket of flowers. "H-Hanz... I got a black rose! A black rose! His sign! I'm the next...! I'm the next-" Kari fell to the ground covering her eyes as the waterworks let loose.

"The sign!?" Hanz froze. The black rose was not a mysterious thing starting from a few centuries back. The black rose was the sign of sacrifice, the sign of Fierce Deity's chosen. Being the chosen wasn't good, however, it meant you were the sacrifice to appease the fierce deity's anger in order to save Termina for a full three years. Only maidens the Fierce Deity found acceptable were chosen as sacrifices, and the most were never heard from again... "K... Kari... When!? Why didn't you tell me before...?" Hanz bent down to the ground beside her and drew his arms around her, pulling her close. "You got it two weeks ago, didn't you? When you stayed inside and skipped out of work... Right?" Kari nodded and the two fell silent. It had been a casual day. It had been, but what was it now?

Just a little more than a month later the peaceful day seemed so far off. The sky was ravaged with dark ominous clouds that poured waterfalls down onto the earth below. Rain pelted the cobble brick roadways in town and the civilians living there scurried through the streets like rats as they rushed throughout town. Kari stared out at the rain as she organized a gift of five red daisies. It was exactly a month from the day she received the black rose, Kari sighed as she thought of the last five sacrifices. _He's coming today. The Fierce Deity always comes after one month of giving the black rose._

"Kari... Maybe you should take the day off," Mrs. Ernes, the flower shop owner, suggested with a sad tone. "You should be with your family and friends right now, not working."

"..." Kari sighed once more, "Of course, I'm sorry. Good-bye Mrs. Ernes, thank-you for letting me work here." Mrs. Ernes began crying bitterly as Kari hung up her work apron and exited the shop she had been so faithful in attendance to. That would be the last time she heard the small bell hanging from the door chime. The wind was biting and sent caustic chills running down Kari's spine as well as making her skin crawl. She would have been scared and nervous, but she had already done that for the last month. At this point, Kari felt... dead.

"Oh wait, hush, here she comes!" exclaimed a gossiper a few feet away. Kari had also gotten used to this too. Although Hanz hadn't told a soul, there had been an eavesdropper when she confessed to having received a black rose. Kari sat down on a bench in the rain; her hair became soaked and fell down to just above her hips. Lifting her head slightly, she let her eyes trace the sky. Would it be the last time she saw it? That was probably the only time she realized that even the sky was taken for granted. SHINK! BROOOM! A flash of lightning kissed the festival pillar and suddenly a dark shadow cast across it with a figure at the top.

"W.. What in the world...?" Kari's mouth dropped as she slowly rose. All the villagers had dropped their things and rushed around the pillar; all heads were cocked up ninety degrees. Another lightning bolt flashed ( as well as a woman screamed) revealing silver hair and glowing white eyes that stunned the crowd. "W-What's going on!?"

"I believe..." A man's voice came from the sky. "That it has been a month has it not?" With another explosion of lightning, the figure fell forward off the pillar, soaring to the ground faster than a comet. Almost dreamily and unrealistically, just before the figure hit the ground, he changed positions and landed gracefully on two feet. "I don't remember the last time I actually came into Termina." With the street lit up, the figure was revealed to be tall slender with special armor and a pale tunic with silver white hair like strands of moonlight had been cast into them. He had red "fang" marks on his cheeks like a tiger, two on each side, and eerie aglow eyes whiter like stars.

"I-It's..! It's..! It's the Fierce Deity!" An old man yelled out from the crowd and people began screaming and running away to their houses. Kari's legs remained glued to the ground with fear.

"I see, quite a welcoming you Terminans give a god don't cha?" The Fierce Deity chuckled as the people ran. He stopped noticing Kari still and everything seemed to freeze. "You are... You are Kari, aren't you?"

"U... U... Uh..." Kari's mouth could let a full grown stampede of horses run in as she tried to speak. _T-T-This is... He's..!? _She shut her eyes, imagining him killing her right on the spot.

"I wondered if you would come faithfully, or if I'd have to come looking for you," His voice grew closer and Kari began shaking. A cold finger and thumb touched her cheek and she shivered vigorously. "You're scared senseless, you poor thing. Don't worry, I won't hurt you..." His voice grew even quieter to where she strained her ears to hear, "...for now at least." With a few more raindrops, she opened her eyes and gazed straight at his. "There we go, open those beautiful emerald eyes. I guess it's time to go. I hope you said good-bye."

"... W... Wait! I don't want to go!" Her words surprised herself. Of course she didn't want to go, but to say so bluntly... "I love Termina, why can't you just deal with yourself! Why do you even need sacrifices!? Why must I leave my family while I go off and you kill me!?"

"..." This only made him grin. "Because your family and this town won't exist if you don't." Kari stepped back. "Nonetheless, time to go, I'm bored of this scene. Upsey-daisies!" Kari squeaked as the Fierce Deity snatched her up over his shoulder and began rocketing out of the town, the rain slapping against the two. _H-Hanz...! Grandma, I'll miss you both very much! Because I won't see you again..._

"Grandma! Hanz! I LOVE YOU!" Kari yelled at the top of her voice. "I'LL MISS YOU!"

"Could you scream any louder?" The Fierce deity, using his free hand, grabbed at his ear as he flinched.

"Actually, I can!" Kari retaliated with a kick to his side. _If he's going to kill me, it doesn't matter anymore. I'm going to make his life a living nightma-_

"Zesty much, that's always attractive in a girl, never took fancy to the ones who gave up so easily," His hand shifted grip on her as he laughed. The farther they got away from Termina, the more then rain grew thin to when it eventually stopped in a deep deep forest. "This should be sufficient for now." He walked around a few paces.

"Well..." Kari stirred as her hip began hurting on his shoulder. "are you going to put me down or what...?"

"Mmmm... I don't know," He flipped her to where it seemed like he was holding a new bride. "I kinda like holdin' onto you." She felt his hand slide across her rear end and she turned a deep red.

"P-Put m-me down you p-pervert!" She yanked away and fell hard on the ground. "Ow... What are you playing at!?" He bent down and sighed as he waved a finger back and forth:

"I need you to understand something my dear Kari," He began to explain, "that from this point on, you shall do as I say. You shall obey my every command. On my part, I won't... what's the word for it... dispose of you so quickly. The longer you last the more time the next sacrifice has before I deliver one of these." From out of nowhere, a black rose appeared in his hand. "If I say do my laundry, you must. If I say cook me dinner, you must. Oh, by the way, I expect those anyway. Als-"

"You're really lazy aren't you?"

"... Only a little!" He burst into a short laugh before smiling too big for his face. "Merely bored. I travel alone while training and..." He grew quiet. "I also deal with important matters of this world."

"This world?"

"You ask many questions."

"Only a little!" Kari mocked while she folded her arms. "What other worlds are there? And why haven't you killed me yet?"

"Have you been listening at all…!? You're going to be my maid, as bold and simple as I can possibly put it. There two worlds, but a mortal shouldn't be told of this... Ahh! No more questions!" Minutes passed of silence as he set up camp and a fire started blazing in a small pit he made. "Go get something to cook."

"What...?" Kari popped out from zoning out. "You mean... You're just going to..."

"Clean out your ears," He tore some branches down. "The river near here is home to many salmon. The fields have many carrots as well as animals. I'll prepare the bedding."

"... Ok..." _Idiot. He's this stupid!? No wonder none of the maidens were heard from again- they all escaped!! _Kari silently left the campsite, walking casually until she got to an open field. "Alright... Please four giants... Give me strength to keep going fast!" She broke into a steady run across the breathless plains. There was barely a wind except for that of which was caressing her cheeks. Her chest rose and fell rapidly with each breath. She ran for at least fifteen minutes before stopping and looking around. _W... WAIT A MINUTE!? _She gaped at the strange sight. She had run so long from the forest's edge, but there she was back at start. "This is... Some kind of trick!" She panted between breaths.

"Indeed it is."

"Huh!?" Kari jerked to see Fierce Deity standing a few feet away. "Y... You!"

"Yes, me, but I don't make it this way. I have brought you to what I call... A pace space. No matter how much you go a certain direction, you'll only be able to travel in a set perimeter. This is actually a mirror world of the one you know, but not the bigger parallel world I spoke of earlier. In truth, there are thousands of mini worlds in this universe. However, there are two main ones. Right now we're traveling in a pace space, which only a special being can change the perimeter. This is the underworld of the Termina world you know."

"Worlds... Spaces... Underworld? Where's... you know, Hades? The devil? Some under-being of evilness?"

"You Terminans always make things so technical. I didn't mean the death underworld, I meant a world very close to Termina, so close that it contains the things Termina has except for the people. There are people of course... but you'll find them... different. I don't feel like talking anymore. I'll help get the fish." He began walking away with a yawn. "Coming?"

"Right..." After thirty minutes of fishing, and fifteen minutes of gathering vegetation they returned to camp quietly and slightly tired. "Agh, dinner right?" Kari yawned and sat down, "Nothing to use?"

"What do you need?" He stood nearby, honestly confused.

"... Pots... Pans...? Ring any bells? We can't eat off leaves for the four giants' sakes!"

"R... Right..." He closed his eyes, and when he opened them, sure enough the needed tools appeared next to Kari. "You're grown tolerant, even in such a time..."

"Tolerant? Try working in a field for ten hours straight and then going to work for six hours. Some of us can't just make things magically appear. Some of us need to earn money for food and health. Some of us have only those we love to lean on, which I only have two of."

"You're grandmother and... this Hanz. Who's she?"

"HE, actually. Hanz's been my friend since I was five. My parents are gone so I've been raised by my grandma all my life. I know I should be said that they're dead but..." Kari stopped cooking, "... Should I be sad for someone I don't know? Should I be sad for my friend's brother's great-aunt's mother's dad? I never knew them. I had another friend but... Mm, my grandma was my mother. Hanz was my brother..."

"I see..." The Fierce Deity sat down next to the fire. "Mortals have such troublesome lives, with this and that and this death and that fight. Crazy, I like my life a whole lot better."

"Pfft! Having special powers, getting sacrifices, traveling between worlds, what COULD be wrong with that!?... Wait..." Kari glanced around the campsite. "You only put one bed!" He smirked playfully.

"It's going to be cold tonight I predict."

"..." Kari narrowed her eyes, "I'll sleep right here, _by myself_, thank-you."

"You're no fun," He laid back, resting his head on his arms. "Nonetheless, what about my orders?"

"You're orders are those of a perverted hermit! I'll cook, I'll clean, but when it comes to your own disgusting need, you'd best look for a new sacrifice!!"

"Hm... Fair enough I suppose, I'll see you tomorrow morning my dear. Don't let the monsters get you."


	2. GL2: Owie!

Info: Gotta love my version of Oni! Anyway, the next chapter to _**God's Love**_... I hope you enjoy this series, and have a good laugh with it. Remember: _**I DO NOT USE LEMONS**_ SO NO WORRIES FOR THE PEOPLE WHO HATE THEM!

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The next morning came faster than Kari had hoped it would. When she woke up in the dingy campsite, it took her a minute to remember where she was. She had been cold the entire night, just as the Fierce Deity had predicted, but she stuck where she had been by the fire and slept in a ball of some sort. One thing she noticed, when she woke up, was that the deity was not there. Kari sat up and rubbed her head as she glimpsed around the campsite for him.

"Not here..." Her eyes changed to slits as she searched even harder. _I wonder if I'm still in a pace space... Maybe I can try to get away again... Won't know till I try. _Kari pondered until she finally stood up and began off into the thick foliage. It was a quiet morning with only the soft chirp of the morning birds and the running of the river which had flooded slightly from the rain downstream. She was back in the plains in no time, but she froze in her place. In the middle of the enormous field, two figures stood. One, was the fierce deity, his silver hair was unmistakable even in the far off distance. The other, Kari did not know, but it wore a mask and didn't look as Terminan as the deity did. The strange being was taller than the deity, thinner than the deity, and had brown rough-looking skin. It was most definitely in-Terminan.

"Wah... Ooom...SET!" The being bellowed and fireballs crashed down from the air behind him and towards the fierce deity.

"Hut!" He dodged just in time and drew a huge blade that looked as if two metals, blue and green, had been weaved together loosely. "Majora, you're getting a little lazy are you!? What are you doing here, this is my space!"

"Huh u hu..." Majora chuckled. "I go where I please..." A dark hissing voice, thunderous and frightening, replied with a laugh. "I imagined you would be here anyway, perhaps it's time to settle this never-ending ancient battle and decide who is truly stronger?"

"I was just thinking the same thing, tough thing is though, we already know who's strongest!"

"And who would that be?"

"ME YOU OVERGROWN PINATA!" The Fierce Deity shot forward with the taunt and slashed his sword vertically, then horizontally, and then he kicked Majora back. "How do you like that!?"

"Not bad, I must admit, but I'm sad to say, it was rather pitiful! Keplas!" The eerie word brought forward three tornadoes that caught the fierce deity in close range and threw him around. "Wah. Ooom. SET!" Once again the fire emerged but hit the tornadoes causing them to blaze in rapid flames. "HAHAHAHAHA! Is the great deity already losing to a fire tornado? You've grown weak with the years!"

"This is..." Kari's eyes grew wide as she watched from behind a tree. "These are the two great deities created by the four giants, why are they fighting!?"

"... THERE! Come out from there!" Majora roared and Kari flinched. _Oh no! He saw me! How!? Did he hear me!? Maybe I can get awa- _"COME OUT OR I'LL COME FOR YOU!!" With this, Kari slowly slipped forward into the fray and the fierce deity gazed at her from the ground he laid on. "A Terminan? In this world? What in the world in going on? A mortal... yet..."

"Leave her out of this Majora; she's just a mere being, a mortal. You and I know very well that only we're meant to fight." He gradually rose from the ground. "Why waste your magic on something so pathetic?" One side of his lips curved up in a smirk. Majora was about to nod, when Kari burst:

"P... Pathetic!?" Kari grinded her teeth. "Who's so pathetic where they take sacrifices from towns and is too lazy to even do his own laundry!? Who's the pathetic pervert here!? Who's the one whom uses his sacrifices as maids!? On my last check, I believe it was YOU!" The fierce deity glared for a moment, and it was then that she realized what he said had been a plan to keep Majora off of her. _Oh great... Me and my big mouth. Me and my stupid pride. Could've just stayed quiet but NOOOO I had to correct him. Geez._ Kari sighed.

"She's quite feisty isn't she? Sacrifice huh? She must be the new one hm? Lazy too aren't you? She even called you a pervert Oni." Majora sneered.

"And I'm proud of it," F.D. spat to his side agitated. "Nonetheless, are we gonna bash each other or are we going to talk this out like civilized fools?"

"Mmm, I suppose you're right." Majora nodded, "but let's raise the stakes, shall we? Whoever wins keeps the girl."

"WHAT!? I'm no priz-"she was intercepted by the F.D's:

"Fine, I only got her yesterday, but also, whoever wins gets control of all the southeast spaces. Deal Majora?"

"I like those stakes, deal," Majora chortled and began another spell. Meanwhile, the F.D. swung his long blade in a circle before positioning himself in a better fighting position. _I can't believe this... Wait... Maybe now I can slip aw- _"And don't try to run dear girl, otherwise I might just have to... discard those fair little legs of yours. Now, are you ready?"

"I'm always ready to win, thanks." With the last word, the two seemed to disappear and reappear in several different spots, but truthfully, they were so fast Kari's eyes could not follow. Either that, or they were going in and out and between the pace spaces._ Weird enough, I think I'd rather want to stay with the fierce deity than Majora... Oh man, I just want to go home! Fishing with Hanz or working in the flower fields sound was better than this!! I can't even tell who's winning in this mess! Come on F.D! _A tree right next to Kari suddenly burst into flames and she could see the two there for a split second.

"YOU IDIOTS! You're going to burn the whole forest down at this rate!" Kari screamed as two more trees caught flames and she rushed into the plains to avoid being scorched. Just then, a fireball rocketed her way, and the air around her raced to one hundred degrees in a second. Her mouth dropped open and her legs wouldn't work for her. Suddenly, as she closed her eyes, she was grabbed and thrown a few feet away, dodging the flames by ten milliseconds.

"Are you ok?" When Kari opened her eyes, she was in the F.D's lap; he had seized her from the magical blue flames. "No burns?"

"N...No... I'm fine, t... thank you..." Kari bit her lip and felt her face burn up.

"Alright... Good. Try to find some cover and stay low, that rock over there should work fine, hurry, I'll cover your back." He stood up, helping her up as well. "Go!" Kari dashed behind the rock and peered over the top silently. _He... saved me? W-Why am I blushing, there's nothing to blush about with that corny pervert..! But... Come on Kari! Snap out of it! He just wants to keep his maid probably! Yeah... That's... why..._

Ght! Not bad Oni..!" The two became visible as they panted heavily. "Let's say this is a draw and everything stays as is...!"

"Alright...! But I would've won...!" F.D stubbornly grinned. "Till next time Majora, you get ten of the spaces, and I get my ten spaces. And I keep her."

"Very well, till next time Oni Next time I won't give in so easily..." Dark smoke engulfed Majora and when it cleared with a soft breeze, he was gone as quickly as he had appeared.

"Yeah... See... ya..." F.D. crashed forward on the ground and closed his eyes. "e's my exercise... His voice dropped below a whisper and he didn't make a sound.

"H-Hey! Hey! Are you alright...?" Kari kneeled down next to him. "Deity?"

"..."

"Deity?"

"..."

"Hey! Hey! Get up!" Kari flipped him on his back. "He doesn't seem like he's breathing... Pulse... yes... Deity? Hey? Hello?" _Oh no... I'm not using CPR on this creep! But... He saved me... But...! Just this once!!_ Kari gulped as she tilted his head up and rested it on her leg just above the knee. Plugging his nose, and regretting the action once more, Kari began blowing air into him. _Come on... Get up! W-Wait, what the!? _Hands wrapped around her body and pulled her close. "H-Hey!! You pervert! Let go!"

"I like holding you like this though... You're lips are sweet too, just like cherries, why'd you stop?" His cocky smile made her want to punch his lights out but when he rolled over and pushed her to the ground, his hair brushing against her face; she turned redder than a crimson pepper and froze up. "Why can't we just stay like this...?" He rested his body against hers and kissed her neck.

"Y...You..."

"Yes, my dear caring darling?"

"YOU JERK!" She kneed him in the family jewels before escaping his grip and observing him roll on the ground in pain like a hippo wallowing in a mud bath. "I was worried and thought you were dying! I even used CPR to help because you saved me earlier but NOOOO you had to go all perverted! I bet you faked it didn't you!? You're nothing more than a slimy worm!! I hope you do die! I hope you die slow and painfully! Y-You! Y-You...!" She felt violated, that was for sure. Small tears hung from her eyelashes closest to her ears and she bit her lip when she was finished. There she lingered with a puffy red face with teary eyes and her arms were folded around herself.

"... Owie..."

"ALL YOU CAN SAY IS 'OWIE' YOU JERK!?" Kari felt like kicking him again. "You only care about yourself!" What she felt like doing, she did.

"Ow! Hey! No more!"

"Bstard! Croak like a frog!"

"Ah! Ouch! Ack! STOP!"

"How can you go from seeming so cool to being such a pervert!?"

"OW!" He howled in pain. "Alright! Alright! I'm sor..." His voice faded.

"I don't hear you!"

"I'm sorry! I apologize! I beg for mercy!"

"... Fine." Kari sat on the ground with a headache. "But you deserved it, so don't think Mr. High and almighty didn't."

"You're quite a fighter, aren't you?" He sat up bit by bit, wincing in pain still. "Glad you're ok though, it wouldn't be nice to find my dear maid torn to shreds or burnt to a crisp... Heh," smiled the Fierce Deity with a clean non-sneering grin. With one fist, he gently nudged her lower cheek near her chin. "You're a very prideful girl, too."

"If you're trying to seduce me, it's not working," Kari folded her arms as she stared off in the distance, hurt.

"Come now it was a true compliment, anyway, let's get back to camp... I need to nurse some of these wounds..." he rose to his feet, stumbled a bit like a new fawn, and finally began limping away. "Coming?"

"Do I have a choice?" Kari sighed and followed swiftly behind the wobbly god. "You two were fighting so fast," Kai started, "I couldn't even see what was going on. He beat you up pretty well, didn't he?"

"I gave him some wounds to worry about just as well," His face puffed up in disagreement. "I hate to say it though, but our powers are pretty matched. You see, we gain strength from the surroundings and the condition of the worlds we travel in. Seeing how everything is fine and dandy in most worlds, we're powerful. If worlds were dying down, we'd be pretty weak. The four giants designed it to be this way."

"So the four giants really do exist... I guess I shouldn't doubt them anymore. Why don't they come to our aid then?"

"They're... in a deep slumber. In fact, they probably won't wake up for millenniums. Also they can't meddle with mortal affairs. That's why they made Majora and me to watch over the worlds but... Haha! They're probably not going to be happy when they wake up!"

"Oh yes, abducting girls, fighting constantly, they're going to make your life a murderer's purgatory!" Kari laughed slightly. "Hey, are you ok? You can lean on me, if you want. Just as long as..."

"Alright, I promise," he nodded and paused as she wrapped one of his arms around her shoulder. "Thank-you. Might you be warming up to me?"

"Well, no..." Kari said with a frown before grinning, "Only a little! You saved me, I owe you something. This being all I can think of for now... Why do you fight Majora?"

"..." He frowned with a sigh. "That's another story for another time, hey; lay me down by the fire pit will ya? Thanks." The F.D. laid flat on the ground and let out a deep long puff of air. As Kari started the fire, he sat up and took his shirt off as he nursed the new injuries. "Slllhhh... Ow!.. Er… Eh!" He grunt from time to time as he applied a special herb ointment.

"You're really an idiot you know that?" Kari's words made him stare at her in confusion. "You're applying it wrong." Pointing, Kari began to explain. "By letting the ointment drip upwards, the debris in the wound in just being shoved deeper. You have to apply the ointment where it drips down and the dirt flows out with it. Got it?"

"So, lower like this..?"

"Agh... You're hopeless, hold on," making sure the fire was flowing; she strode over and held onto his arm. "This'll sting, as you know." As soon as the ointment touched the pink open flesh, the fierce deity flinched and let one foot kick the dirt. "Now..." Kari ripped the lower tip of her dress and dabbed the wound, "... wrap the wound and you're done." Ending with a tight knot, she released his arm and he exercised it for a moment. "Good?"

"Better than, thank-you," he smiled and put his shirt back on before tossing a stick in the fire. "You're making me feel guilty."

"Why?"

"I took such a kind beautiful girl from her home and friends. Everyone in town must have loved you. I bet this Hanz boy must have had a crush on you as well."

"Hanz? No way! There are some boys in life that are more brotherly than romantically. He's brotherly."

"What am I in those two categories?" While the F.D seemed to be asking for the truth, Kari stared straight into his eyes and, using those big shiny emerald eyes, she lowered his guard, leaned just an inch before his face, and made him expect a pleasant kiss:

"A no-good-lazybones-kidnapping-perverted-terrorist."


	3. GL3: Freezing Warmth

Info: Next chapter... Stupid Oni, raping is for psychos! Eh... Couldn't resist... Anyway! The next chapter, please enjoy... This chapter is funny.. but has more seriousness...

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"Where are we going?"

"Somewhere."

"Why are we going there?"

"Because."

"How come you never answer questions properly?"

"Cuz'." With the Fierce Deity's response, Kari rolled her eyes. "We're almost there anyway. Why do you ask questions so much?"

"Well, let's see," Kari sighed, "I'm all alone in a huge forest with nothing to do. As well as that, I'm stuck with you; a perverted demig-" Kari paused as F.D. made a face and snorted as he kicked up some dead leaves. "Right now, we're walking to who-know's-where in a silent infested forest with nothing to do except talk and push tree branches out of my face."

"Well, there's actually something we could do... I mean, we could always have stop and have s-"

"NO YOU IDIOT! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!! Has no one taught you manners? Sheesh! I swear you have a one track mind. It's already bad enough having to deal with your constant gestures, let alone your cocky personality. What they say is true: Girls' mentality develops at least two years faster than boys. I expected something a little different from a god..."

"What? You'd expect me to wear a toga and throw thunderbolts down at the ground? I think being a god of booze wouldn't be so bad though..." He seriously considered it and Kari smacked her forehead.

"I expected someone... well, tyranny sort of. The whole sacrifice thing," Kari spun her fingers in the air as she began, "is kind of dictator-ish. I expected someone evil with devil horns and a malicious smile... I mean, look at you! You're wearing a normal tunic and some armor, well the armor is ok, but you always walk around with that stupid arrogant smile."

"... You really don't like me much don't you?"

"... Of course I do," Kari sarcastically remarked. "I still wonder why I'm not dead though... Most sacrifices are... You know, sacrificed. You're not a very experienced god are you?"

"Let's just leave it at this: The four giants made us, and left us no handbook. All they said was 'protect the land' and some other crap. After that they went to sleep like the lazy sorry excuses for benevolent lords they are. I actually listened to them... but then Majora began coming into my spaces and tricking people. We always had what you Terminans would call a "brotherly rival" relationship. Naturally, I started er... The whole sacrifice thing. That's why we always fight, and that's why we always have draws. Weird anyway... Ah, yes! We're here!" F.D. grinned as they came upon a clearing. In the clearing of lush green grasses and lichen-covered rocks was a deep pool of navy blue water with steam rising from it. "My favorite spot in Terminan, the forest hot springs!"

"..." Kari examined the area, there was only _one_ pool. One hot spring. One.

"There's also rich fruit to stock up for future use, and I can relax away. I love this place..."

"Before you get excited, I hope you do take notice to the fact... There's only one hot spring!"

"Yeah, pretty much, but shouldn't you be used to mixed bathing? I heard most bathhouses have them..."

"Y-Yeah, for singles! Only old people and perverts use those!! Besides the fact, I'd never get in there with _you_!!"

"Guess you'll have to deal with laundry then," He began taking off his shirt and Kari scurried behind a large granite rock.

"Wait till I'm not next to you before getting undressed you idiot!" When she heard a soft splash, she slowly, gingerly came out. "You really need to take other's concerns into mind..."

"I was, don't you feel lonely and need a big strong guy to hold onto you?" His same smug curve of his lips appeared and she sighed. _I had to get stuck with this guy. Just my luck, oh four giants, what did I do to deserve this? Was it when I slept in? Was it when I skipped work once for grandma's birthday? Why me...?_ The pondering stopped as she picked up his clothes and loomed over the side of the dark pool; she started scrubbing the clothes against a tough rock was using the water to clean them.

"Do I have to clean your boots..." Kari stopped as she saw them: dirt-covered and the brown leather boots were black with mud and grime. "Never mind, I'll do that anyway." Huffing again, she pulled out an old washcloth and pulled them over to her.

"Thanks," his voice seemed more relaxed and calm; the hot spring was working its magic. "Here's a deal, after I get out, you can get in and I'll wait behind a tree or something. There's certain things you just can't miss... Ahhh..."

"... Er... Sort of, sure... I guess..." Kari wanted to get in at that moment, but not with him in it, and she most likely did not trust the deity to not be a peeping tom. "You have to stay far away though. Otherwise I get a penalty kick."

"Penalty kick, when did we come up with that?" His eyes were a tad bit wider than usual. "Fair enough though I guess... But no penalty kicks to the love button." When his sheepish smile appeared, Kari scrubbed the clothing harder to ignore him. "Hey, I'm getting out now, so..."

"There you go! Good boy!" Kari exasperatingly threw her hands up in the air. "Thanks anyway..." Hanging the clothing on a branch as she passed it, Kari once again hid behind the large mossy rock. "Please tell me when you're finished, and by finished, I mean completely!" She heard him snigger with short quiet laughter on the other side and saw the clothes disappear from the branch as he grabbed them.

"Alright, finished, _completely madam, _you can come out now mi lady," His mocking tone made her playfully punch his shoulder when she walked over to him. Luckily, he hadn't lied and was entirely dressed, only lacking his windsock of a hat. "Better?"

"Who are you and what have you done with Oni?"

"O-N-I? Since when have you started calling me that?" His brow bone shifted with slight confusion mixed with sternness.

"Majora called you that, I figured it was your real name, isn't it?" Kari cocked her head, "I can't call you deity all the time; it sounds like I'm calling the devil's name or something. Names are important."

"...Fine, if you must, call me 'Oni.' However, do you know what 'Oni' means Kari? Hm?"

"No... It sounds ok though..."

"There are two definitions of 'Oni.' The first meaning is 'big.' That seems to make me sound rather... Big. The second definition of 'Oni' is 'a troll or ogre.' Do you normally go around calling people trolls or ogres? No... There are also various more meanings but I don't feel like reciting them all."

"I don't know," Kari hesitated before continuing but gained a smirk, "they seem to fit you perfectly _Oni_."

"..." His eyebrow twitch impatiently and he folded his arms with attitude. "Move along, don't you have a bath to take?" With those words, he began walking off into the forest, his feet stomping on the forest floor and crushing the variety of plants. Kari could hear him murmur the definitions and 'Oni' over and over again unhappily. _He's like a big kid. A very big perverted over-confident kid._ Kari pondered before switching to the other side of the rock again, and before she began peeling off the clothing, she glanced towards the woods again to make sure he wasn't looking. Still unsure, Kari hesitated until a warm puff of steam caressed her cheek and finally she got undressed, but grabbed a shoe as she headed to the water. "Hey, what if I do peek-" As his face emerged from behind a tree, Kari hurled her shoe like a bullet from a gun and the fierce deity fell flat on his back. "Ow wow wow..."

"That's what you pervert!" Kari fled into the hot pool with satisfaction of the success hit from her shoe. "Learn anything yet Oni?"

"Other then you're deadly with a shoe, no, no I haven't," He hissed from behind a thick trunk as he rubbed his cheek where the shoe had made contact. "I'm going to go get food, you have fifteen minutes before I'm back and ready to go whether you're ready or not." Grumpy and deprived, he vanished from sight into the forest. _Gone... How can I be sure? Maybe I should try to run away now... Are we in a pace space..? We weren't when Majora and Oni were fighting... Won't know till I try! _Kari slyly snuck out and swiftly got dressed. Once done, she darted off in the opposite direction as fast as her thin legs could take her, which wasn't terribly slow, but not drastically fast either. After two minutes, she stopped and viewed her surroundings. _New place! I did get farther! We're not in a pace space!_ With the jovial thought, Kari grew hopeful as she began seeing light between the trees from an opening in the heavy green foliage.

The sky above was now visible and seemed to be painted a cerulean blue while bulky clouds wiggled through the sky. There was a thick layer of jade green grass with wildflower patches scattered throughout. Best of all, a dirt road clearly set led to a populous town surrounded by farms and many trees. _He won't be able to find me there if I hurry! I'm almost there!! Almost there!_ Her feet uncontrollably sped away with heavy optimism and her eyes flickered with glints as thoughts of Hanz and her grandmother passed throughout her mind. Suddenly, she stopped the joy. She stopped her feet. She stopped the hope. There was now an 'if' floating in her mind, tugging at her conscious and the reality of her situation. _If I run... What will he do?_

_Will he destroy Termina? Will he hurt Hanz and grandma? Will he hurt the villagers? Will he go after another sacrifice? Will he come after me in rage and end up destroying me? Will he kill people in his anger? Will he raise hell on this world? Will he out strength Majora and destroy the natural balance set between them by the four giants? I can't... _Kari collapsed to the ground with tears starting to form in her eyes. _I can't go home. I can't escape. I'll truly never see anyone ever again. I have to stay... I have to stay for... For everyone's sake! _Shaking, she pulled herself up and her shoulders slumped with the reddening of her face as it puffed with tears. Tears bled from her eyes like sweat during a two hundred degree day as she wobbled back into the forest. Back to the hot spring. Back to him.

The fierce deity was not quite there when she arrived back to the dark pool, which gave her time to whiten her face and cleanse her eyes of the tears. There she sat by the hot spring, glumly staring at it as if it held something precious to her.

"Oi! Back! Aww, you're already dressed, that's no fun," The voice was unmistakable as it grew closer. He seemed to pause though, and wait for her to reply. "I found some fish in a nearby river. We should be well for tonight, do you wanna set camp up here?" She couldn't bring herself to say 'sure' or 'ok' 'or even a 'Mm.' She hadn't gotten rid of the tears either and she felt completely miserable. It wasn't as friendly anymore to her, she was homesick and wanted nothing more than to go back to working in the fields. "Hey, are you ok?" His voice grew quiet as he leaned down beside her and saw the tears and the wet dirt by her.

"Idiot, we can't camp here, and why do we always eat fish everyday...?" her voice was cracking and certainly startled him. "You don't know anything do you O...O...Oni?"

"..." She half-expected his face to grow cross and for him to yell as it seemed to be in his nature but he sat down quietly next to her, and remained silent. "I don't know... what's wrong..." She felt him hug her side, pulling her onto his lap. "...and I don't know what to do to even help. I'm sorry." As she began crying again, he squeezed her tightly which only made her cry harder.

_I-Idiot! This is... This is your entire fault anyway! Don't comfort me... Don't do this... You only make it harder... I hate you. I hate you so bad... But why do you feel so warm and I think you're so cold?_


	4. GL4: Pace Space Problems

Notes: Fourth chapter... Er... I'm trying to keep it funny, and the plot is coming into play slooooowwwwlllyyyy... Please enjoy!

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"Oni, what do you want for breakfast?"

"What we usually have...?"

"Fish! Of all the things for breakfast we eat fish!" Kari's voice inclined with the last word and she threw her arms up in the air. "What about eggs and milk and bacon? Like everyone else! At least they taste good..."

"It doesn't matter to me, anything's better than what I cook..." Oni shrugged in pure honesty. "I can't cook even if my rank depended on it; my cooking skills aren't very polished."

"Right..."

It seemed just like any other day to Kari. Weird as it was, she had somehow habituated to being with the fierce deity and the days where she'd wake up and serve her grandmother some breakfast were far off in her memories like something in closet being pushed back time after time. Yesterday where she had cried harder than she knew she could, was just like the memory; joining it in the large closet of her mind. Strangely enough, she lately felt incognito since she hid her depressing manor behind her usual laughs and smiles and snappy comebacks to Oni.

Today also helped conceal the past's misery. The sun hovered above with a bright glowing grin and the clouds had disappeared into nothingness as if they fled from the brilliant light. The numerous myriads of plants bloomed spectacularly raising their heads just high enough to catch the refreshing northern breezes. They had recently ventured to clear grass plains without a tree in sight but deer and elk were plentiful in the vast flat terrain. However, even with the bonanza of animals and herbs, they kept eating... fish.

"Do you have a secret passion for fish or something, Oni? You tend to eat it like there's no sunrise in the next morning!"

"You wanna know the truth?" Oni sat down on the soft blade of green and sighed to a point where a strand of his moonlight hair floated up for a moment. "I don't really have a sense of _taste_. Everything tastes like fish from me eating it so long. You see, fish are the easiest animals to catch. Normally, I'm on the track and I never stop so I'd sometimes get fish and heat 'um over the fire. I guess I'm used to it... Why? Do you want something else...?"

"NAW!" Kari nearly fell over from the brainless question. "I really wonder what's between your ears at times!"

"That doesn't matter to me," Oni had an expressionless face before growing... _that _smile and making Kari brace herself, "I more care about what's between my le-"

"If you don't shut up about yourself I'm going to have to kick you again there just so you'll see how much you care!!" Kari basically screamed and Oni smiled to a point that if he had a tail, it'd be wagging so hard to even knock over trees. However, he soon stopped knowing that her threats could be taken seriously. "I'm going to get some **real** food. You'll know a good dish and won't soon forget when I cook it! Back in a bit," waved Kari with a little boost of excitement. Oni watched her go for a moment before his lips curved to a true smile. _Good, she's happier today._

Kari strode throughout the plains for a bit, collecting the native berries and herbs for spices and/or a desert. She actually had no clue where to gather meat: she had no bow let alone a knife to defend herself. _You know... I'm actually not that safe when Oni's not around... ugh, what a monsoon on my sunshine! _Kari sighed as she sat down in a grassy patch with purple wildflowers. _Speaking of terrible weather, isn't the rainy season coming up...? Not a cloud in the sky... I wonder if Oni can control weather... What do I care! He's not that amazing; he's just a little higher than a mortal like me... He just can travel through different dimensions...Wields a huge two-handed sword that shoots fireballs... And what's with his hair? And his eyes? White and glowing! No pupils! I wonder if the four giants are limited in creating life...? Is their a greater power than the four giants? Who created this world...? Why in the world am I thinking about this dense stuff! Keep it simple Kari! _She escaped from the deep thought and stood up, "I guess I have all I can get for now... If I ever eat another fish in my life it will be too soon!"

Kari sauntered back the way she came from the plains at about ten, she had woken up at eight. After twenty minutes of walking, Kari paused and felt a sense of circling. _I was... Just here!? Am I in a pace space? How do I get back!? Oh great Oni, you and your stupid ideas!! ARGH! _Frustrated and confused, Kari ran out in all directions attempting to escape the parallel world to her own Termina. Heaving and panting after another twenty minutes, she collapsed around the ground and waved a fist in the world, "GOSH DMNIT ONI WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE YOU'RE GOING TO WISH THE FOUR GIANTS HAD NEVER CREATED YOU!!"

"Getting mad at Oni will not free you from this troublesome place..." A small voice wavered on the wind and into Kari's ears- It seemed slightly recognizable. "Getting mad at the one who actually brought you here won't help as well..."

"W-Wait! Show yourself!" Kari yelled to the blank air around her. "Put me back in Termina's dimension!! Judging from your voice..." Kari fell silent as she racked her memories.

_"Hut! Majora, you're getting a little lazy aren't you!? What are you doing here!? This is my space!" A faint image of Oni yelled in her mind._

_"Huh u hu... I go where I please. I imagined you would be here anyway, perhaps it's time to settle this never-ending ancient battle and decide who is truly stronger?" A large being with an eerie mask laughed manically._

_"I was just thinking the same thing, tough thing is though, we already know who's strongest!"_

_"And who would that be?"_

_"ME YOU OVERGROWN PINATA!" The scene faded with those words._

"Y-You're...!" Kari gawked and felt her mouth fall open while her eyes filled with slight fear. "You're Majora! You're the one Oni was fighting a while ago... What do you want!?"

"You're quite brave for a mortal little girl," Majora chortled, "but I wonder what you have to back up some big talk."

"That doesn't matter! Now answer me! What do you want!!"

"Hm... Nothing really. I just wondered much about a mortal. Sure, I appear and trick some at times... Even... misplace a few you could say... I wonder if you'd be a good research model to turn average Terminans to super beings, under my control of course. How would you like that? Leave Oni the..." Majora burst into laughter before continuing. "... the pervert and join me? Certainly I'd let you live... if you'd survive the experiments but... Perhaps I could find better use for you? And you'd be able to eat more than just petty scraps like fish! A growing woman requires much... I wonder if you could bear me a son..."

"N-Now you're creeping me out!" Kari's body shook vigorously as she jerked her head back and forth. "I'd never do that! Never! I'd rather be with Oni than a twisted 'it' like you! I'd rather eat fish than go with you! I'd rather... I'd rather bear-" Kari stopped herself quickly. _Close! I almost said... I'd bear Oni's... AHHH!! GROSS! DISTURBING!!_

"What? Oni's child? Please! We don't need anymore incompetent idiots in these worlds! Perhaps I shouldn't approach you like this," Majora examined his body. "Women do tend to like more romantic things, yes? One moment..." Dark clouds like the time before swallowed Majora up and soon Majora's dark figure seemed to be changing in the clouds, growing smaller, but about Kari's height. Kari's jaw dropped when the clouds disintegrated. There, emerging from the spot where Majora had just been, came a man. He had black hair, hanging just below his ears and drooping in front of his face. He had emerald green eyes much brighter and livelier than hers and wore a black suit of armor with the mask still on his back, tied on by string. "Perhaps this body would seduce you better."

"Y...You..." As he stepped closer, Kari inched back.

"It's a _pace space_ m'dear. There's no chance you can escape." In a mere five seconds, he stood directly in front of her, his eyes tracing her body and appearing to delve into her very soul. "You'd make a good mother, you're body is set for that sort of thing. No chance of death during birth, you're quite healthy. And..." A sick smile appeared on his face. "You are exceptionally beautiful my dear. Should we depart now? Or finish business here and then leave?" A cold hand of no life brushed against her cheek.

"Y-You're forgetting something Majora..."

"Mm? What's that?"

"With that body of yours... YOU GAIN A WEAKSPOT!" Kari launched her leg up as hard as she possibly could between his legs. Just as expected, with the ability of being able to produce children, Majora gained the nerves just as well. Cringing in pain, he fell to the floor. "O-Oni!! Oni!" Kari backed away from Majora and ran to the other side of the pace space. "Oni!"

"Fool... He can't hear you...!" Majora hissed on the ground. "He probably doesn't even know you're in a different pace space!"

"S-Shut up bstard! You're not in a position to be talking!" Kari kicked him in the side in order to keep him down longer.

"THAT'S ENOUGH! I have went along with your tiresome acts for enough!" Almost magically, Majora made the pain stop and stood up. "If I cancel the nerves for a moment or so, I shall be fine!" He was angry, and as he approached her once more, she tried making a dash to the right. However, Majora snatched her arm and threw her to the ground. "I will live on in my children!"

"Y-You're not going to get any! Not from me at least!" Kari kicked and wiggled as hard as she could. Majora finally pinned her down, his hands at her wrists as he lay on top of her.

"Now, now, why don't we all just calm down and enjoy this? I know very well that mortals do this sort of thing all the time..."

"With people they love! Not some over-sexed cretin or a desperate god! Not an idiot! Not a stranger! Not you!" Fear consumed her and tears slid from her eyes like a heavy snow.

"Shhh... Perhaps I should use a spell to calm you... But then again, this is enjoyable to me..." He forced a rough kiss on her lips and she felt bile build up in the back of her throat. _O-Oni... _She felt a hand slide down her shirt. _Help me... O-Oni...!_

"OOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!"

"He will not help you no-"

"OOONNNNIIIIIIIIIII!!"

"SHUT UP!"

"ONI! PLEASE HELP ME!" She took a blow to the side of her head and blood slowly oozed out. She felt her head grow heavy and her vision went blurry. As she began closing her eyes, she saw a bright light and heard a new voice... then it all went black. Kari had heard faint noises, but then they even grew too inaudible for her to hear. _Oni... Fierce deity... I think...you're... too late... but..._

_But only... a... little..._

**Kari?**

_Who...?_

**Kari? Kari wake-up. You're over-sleeping again! Are you sick? Do ya need help with work?**

_H-Hanz...?_

**Kari! I didn't raise no sleepy-girl! Time to rise and shine and get to work! Come on Kari, we'll go get breakfast in town. We'll splurge just this once dear!**

_G...Grandma..! Grandma! Hanz! W-Where are you?_

**C'mon you lazybones, you can't act like me, geez... Maybe I am a bad influence...**

"O-Oni!" Kari launched up in a forest surrounded by tall oak trees, bushes, grass, and a small pond to her left. With a throb of pain, she fell back flat on the grass and remained still, staring up at the sun; it was hiding between many leaves though. "Where... am I...? Tears cascaded down her cheeked again. "I hate you Majora! Burn and die slowly! Painfully!" Her body shook terribly as she cried and she cried even harder than the day before.

"You're awake?" A soft kind voice asked, and it wasn't Majora. "Kari, you ok?" His silver hair was even better than ever and his eyes were an amazing sight to see.

"Oni..?" Kari almost didn't trust the familiar face. _Majora in disguise...?_

"Good... You're ok, that's good..." He sighed in relief and fell back onto the grass. "I didn't know Majora would do something like that... I hate to say it, but I think he likes you. Hey, what's wrong?"

"Oni... What exactly happened when I blacked out?"

"Oh! You yell pretty loud, thank the lords, and I had already gone looking for you... Thought you ran away, I didn't have us in a pace space, you see… Trusted you, I guess." He sheepishly smiled and rubbed his head. "I pulled Majora off you with a surprise assault. Don't worry, I know what you're thinking, nothing happened. Nothing." He smiled and Kari felt a deep relief. "Anyway, we fought, he retreated, and I brought you to this place, you're light as a feather."

"But I want to know exactly. What happened, the details? Did Majora get what he deserved...?" This brought a bright jack o' lantern grin on Oni's lips.

"Oh, I believe so m'dear," Oni cackled, "one kick to the daddy button is harsh, but two is unbearable. Majora won't want to do anything of that sort for a few days. Used magic to seal the pain, see? Also, I gave him some nice new features... One arm... Cuts... A scar across his face... Why in the world was he trying to um... do that to you anyway?"

"I don't know... He kept blabbering about living on in his children, whatever that means. I do know what he intended to do though..." She shuddered at the thought. "I think having children would let him live on through something... What do you think Oni?" Oni had been looking down in deep thought after what she said. "Oni?" Only when she repeated his name a few more times did he look up. "Do you think you know something?"

"N... No, don't worry about it." He waved his hand to assure her. "Nonetheless, I'm going to keep a closer eye on him and make sure you're safe. Let's just get some shut-eye for now..." He lay down on the other side of the fire. Kari saw threw his act; he was worried about something... but what?


	5. GL5: Mean, mean, mean!

Notes: The fifth chapter... I already wrote these stories, so that's why they're coming out so fast. Anyway... This chapter is a little dirty... Nothing beyond PG-13 though.. As my friend and I always copy... Mean, mean, mean!

* * *

Water shimmered from the mid-day golden orb that kept a vigil from the sky; a soft kind wind pranced across the valley with content set in its heart. Trees rustled from the jovial friend, almost shivering from the delight, and the scene of the valley would be gone in a bit.

"We're leaving?" Kari questioned as she scrubbed the Fierce Deity's shirt in a bucket. "Already?"

"We shouldn't be in one place so long, it's unkind to the animals and the earth or letting us stay here..." Oni sat in the branch of a tree, his hair fluttering away in the gentle breeze. _Knowing Majora's objectives doesn't help either... _He held back a sigh. _The four giants are going to awaken soon... Majora must plan to have a child in order to live on past their judgment... Dirty scoundrel! It makes me angry just thinking about it! _He grinded his teeth, holding back the urge to challenge Majora to a fight. _And he can go get his own woman! Kari's mine!_

"Hmmm... Well, where are we going? Mountains? Plains? Desert? Forest...?" Her confused face made him grow in excitement and he turned away, hiding the signs. She stood up and hung the shirt over a branch close to the ground.

"Somewhere... Just... anywhere. N-No location..." _Dmn, getting excited in the morning, what are you thinking, dope?_ He pressed a hand on his forehead. _If it were someone else, I'd probably of had my way by now... _He glanced at Kari out of the corner of his eye who quietly hummed a tune as she cleaned the shirt. _But she'd just knee me again if I tried anything. _He shuddered in silence at the thought.

"Done! The wind dried it pretty fast; it feels a little cold though..."

"Makes no difference to me," Oni jumped from the branch, "I can't feel Temperature."

"What!?" Kari gasped. "No way! That's awful...! To not feel the coldness of snow... or the warm summer sun... It mu-"

"It's fine," Oni shook his head as he slipped the shirt on. "I was made to be a perfect protector of Ter-" Kari interrupted with a little: 'which you fail at' and Oni made a face before going on. "... Anyway... The four giants are limited: they weren't the ones who made life after all... Or these worlds... or universe... or..."

"Really?"

"Three goddesses did... Fayore, Din, and Nayru... Ack! I shouldn't be telling you this, stop urging me on!" He waved a hand and Kari held her mouth to one side for a moment, unsatisfied. "We're going to be heading kinda farther... I think it'd be better if I carried you."

"C-Carried!? No way, you pervert!"

"What? Ugh, fine! You're so boring sometimes," He smirked before bending down, his back to her. "Piggyback ride then, no hidden _surprises_."

"..." Kari hesitated but sighed, what choice did she have? "Alright... but if you try anything funny, you're going to get a very unpleasant surprise." She climbed on his back and wrapped arms over his shoulders.

"What could I possibly do that would be worse than Majora?" Oni's eyes flickered happily and Kari shut her eyes, from all their traveling experience, passing through dimensions was one heck of a ride... and was very hard to tolerate. Feeling a rapid chill, she knew he had opened a portal and her grip on him tightened silently. He acknowledged this with a soft glimpse back at her before dashing into the portal.

Eerie moaning surrounded the two as well as flashing colors and lights as the dimensions passed by. There was a strange gale, harsh but then it changed to a windless feeling but then back to choppy gusts. _Ah, here we are! _Oni jerked to the left and synchronized with a new place...

"OH SHT!" Oni yelled as he noticed them falling, he had brought them just above a forest and fell straight through a flurry of brown and green. _Snap! Crack! _As the branches broke, Oni maneuvered Kari from his back and faced his back to the ground with her against his stomach.

"O-Oni!!" She finally opened her eyes for a split second before clenching them shut again. _BAM!_ Oni was first to hit the ground with a harsh thud while Kari's fall was softened by his body. "O-Ow..."

"How can you say ow...?" Oni groaned. "Dmn, a freaking twig snapped under my back... I should be the one complaining... I can't move..."

"Ack! Are you paralyzed!? Wait! Don't die on me yet, send me home first!!" Kari shook him as he closed his eyes.

"I'm not _dying _unlucky for you, I can't _move _because not only are you sitting on me... Your knee hit the target..." She just noticed his little-bit-higher-tone voice.

"S-Sorry!" She quickly scurried off and sat at his side.

"Glad to think that if I die, all you want is to go home... Not a single good-bye kiss," He stuck out his tongue and she balled her fists on her lap, warning him. "Aw... c'mon, show a little love... Man, I doubt I'm going to be able to have any kids if I hang out with you much longer." He disregarded the warning with a smile and sighed tiredly. "Ok... So ugh..." He sat up slowly. "I'll be OK..." _Wait... Ah! Smart thinking Deity, alright, let's try it... _"O-Ow! Uuuurh! It hurts!" He pretended to be in serious pain and grabbed at his chest. "Ack, I must have landed on the ground wrong! Ow!" _Show some compassion, mi dear. _

"O-Oni, are you alright?" _Bingo! _"Uhhh, errr, let's set up camp here, you shouldn't be heading out like this!" _I love a woman's maternal instincts... Thank-you my dear goddesses for creating these darling women for the men of this world... And you've made them so... fascinating... Especially this one... _"Er, where does it hurt?

"Huh?" He almost forgot his plan. "O-Oh... Uh... My back...?" _Probably should've planned more... _"And my stomach... and legs..."

"Mmm, even though you're a creation of four great gods, you still feel pain; maybe they're not as limited as I thought they were..."

"Huh?"

"I always thought the giants, since they never helped us, were limited to interacting with us, like you said. Yet, they can still create a lifelike being like yourself... "She brushed a hand against his cheek. "I think it's amazing, since the goddesses were the ones who made this land... and life..."

"You're starting to think low of gods..." He smiled, "Perhaps I'm a bad influence on someone like you..." _I should tell a sob story; those always make girls sympathetic..._

"Getting sacrifices that you don't sacrifice, boldly going around doing perverted things, etc. etc. I bet you started the sacrifice thing because you were lonely."

"What...!?" He felt his cocky independent nature flood back into his mind. "No way! I just wanted a maid and someone to poke fun at, sadly though, I didn't realize you were so... stoical... Ugh, so boring..." He rolled on his side away from her. "Sex is good for you."

"..." She stared at his back, half wanting to smack him. "Well," She coughed twice, not quite comfortable with the subject, "in a physical view, it's exercise, but in a mental view, it is VERY different, Oni." He was slightly surprised that she continued the subject. "It's a _treasure _spent with someone you really love, not some random kidnapper... That's more like rape."

"Oh, you're mean. You don't even like me a little," He stuck his tongue out making her laugh. "Mean, mean, mean."

"Hm, I think I've become more tolerable of you, if that helps," She grinned, "but it's more of a crude friendship... like an unpolished gemstone."

"Yeah? Well I prefer friends with _benefits_..." His exceptional smile came back as he heard her smack her forehead lightly. "But it is nice having at least one person to talk to, I must say."

"A-ha! Mr. Lonely, you just admitted it!"

"I admit nothing," He made a 'humph' before rolling back towards her. "You must've had many friends, young Miss Popular."

"Mm, not so much. Just Hanz... and the old lady I worked for!" She smiled. "But that's because I don't go around terrorizing citizens like a tyrant. You should try approaching villages in _kindness_. If it's a poverty village, work hard to plant crop fields and help the people... If it's a village with an unkind dictator, kill the son of a gun." This made him smile. "You know, it's a happier life than just going from dimension to dimension fighting Majora and stealing girls from their homes. If you show kindness and help others... they'll think of you as a benevolent lord instead of a 'fierce deity,' make sense?" He secretly mental notes. "Show them the side you've shown me... Er, leave out the perverted stuff though!" She cackled and he slowly felt himself join.

"I don't know what it is... but..." He dare not look at her when he spoke. "... You have a way of changing the most set-in-their-ways kind of people. Then again, maybe I'm just a softie for girls that put up with me..." As her lips parted to say something, but closed, he gaped, "N-Nothing meant by that! Don't misunderstand me!"

"You realize what a jerk you can be, alright Oni!" She beamed a smile that would have been sparkling if the sun could reach between the over-brush. "You're like a nut."

"Huh? I am not cra-"

"Not that sort of nut, dimwit! Like a walnut, chestnut, peanu-"

"My nuts!" He roared in laughter.

"No you idiot..." She sighed. "You seem to have a shell, despite your attitude... But... I think I'm beginning to see the real Oni... Why do you hide him?"

"..." His face grew red, embarrassed. "Weakness lies in relationship with others. Friendship and love... it's a waste..."

"Funny you say that, when your hormones seem to be a little off the charts... What am I saying? A little!? A lot! I don't want to sound like I'm repeating some dumb friendship speech, but I think others give you strength... I was... helped by it myself..."

"?"

"When Majora attacked me... I blacked out as you know... but... when I thought of Hanz and grandma... I felt so much better! And when I thought of you, I was able to yell and kick and scream. If I hadn't thought of you and my other friends," The word brought some strange feeling to his mind, "I might have been p-... Eck! I hate to say it! With his child, that would've been the most ugly baby I've ever seen!"

"Ha ha... Haha! Hahahahahaha!" He chortled contently. "Don'tcha think my kids would look much betta? Might have some whacked out hair though..." _So she thinks of me as a friend... and has no feelings for Majora, already knew this much. _"But they'd get their father's ravishing looks, no?... But... you actually thought of _me_ along with them?"

"Huh? Don't make me repeat myself."

"Awww!! Cute! You have warmed up to me!" He hugged her. "You're red, are you that pleased?"

"Huh, so you're suddenly not feeling so hurt, are you!? Geez, you're worse than a leech!" She struggled to push him off.

"I'll admit I pretended that much," They both fell flat to the ground, him on top of her in the assertive position making her grow red. "But the conversation we had was quiet delightful, don't you think?" He kissed her forehead gently and examined her face again.

"..." Her lip quivered as she closed and her eyes seemed to grow a fearful twinkle. _A-Ack! _He _leapt _off her as he grew 'excited' once more. "Huh?"

"You suck..." He was in some sort of bent over position, hands between his legs. "Dmn it..." _Can't do it. Not with that look on her face._

"?" She was completely unaware, but then gained a surprised face. "Eh!? You're getting a ha-"

"Please don't say it. It only makes it worse." _In fact, go find me a rock to crawl under. Wear a mask around me. Stop being so dmn cute! This probably wouldn't happen as often if I just freaking screwed her by now... _He banged his head on the ground

"Haha... Hahahahahahaaha!" She pointed and laugh. "You- hahahahaha!"

"This is NOT funny!" He bitterly yelled.

"N-No, you just scared me to death! I thought you were actually gonna rape me! But you're too nice now aren't you? You're too embarrassed!"

"Go to hll devil girl..." _Probably better this way than her getting freaked out and running off... This isn't a pace space... _

"Yeah, I guess I should be nice to my elders."

"Hey!! I'm not THAT old! C'mon, I'm hotter than any guys your age!"

"How old are you anyway?"

"..."

"You must be ancient! Older than my last ten grandmas! Maybe I should treat you with more respect in virtue for my afterlife..."

"Mean, mean, mean!"


	6. GL6: Without Green

Info: I have the song "Natsuhiboshi" from naruto stuck in my head... Gonna fall asleep... _-snore-_

* * *

"K-KARI!" Oni shrieked when the energetic girl collapsed to the ground. "K-Kari! Say something, Kari!" He rushed to her side, holding her up slightly. Her breathing was fast, her face was reddish purple, and she shivered endlessly. "K-Kari...?"

Skipping back. It was a rainy day; fat gray clouds hid the sun and cast a long almost endless shadow over the earth below. There was a strong wind sailing across the deciduous forest making the trees dance. It was raining heavily, but the trees did block out some of it.

"I hate muggy weather," Kari commented as she followed Oni across a log. "What's your favorite weather?"

"Makes no difference to me," Oni kept walking. "Weather... is just weather. Sunny, or rainy, it doesn't bother me but... I guess I like sun better for battle, you don't slip on mud."

"Haha! I can imagine you doing that!" Kari was so lively and in a great mood, she took strides of happiness it almost seemed. "A serious battle... in a golden plains... rain squishing under every step taken as you run towards Majora... and... Splat! Slip in mud, very skillful," She smiled.

"You're just jealous," Oni stuck out his tongue. "Kari, you seem a tad bit redder than yesterday, are you feeling alright?"

"Huh? I am? I feel fine! The rain keeps me chilly so I don't get hot... I actually feel better than normal, weird enough." She stretched. "Worry about your own problems like you normally do."

"That makes me feel oh so kind," Oni made a face as he said the sarcastic remark. "Perhaps it was something you ate... Agh, Terminan body systems are so confusing!"

"But you have one yourself."

"I don't get sick, I don't feel heat or cold, there's only one system I care about the r-"

"I already know, no need to tell me," Kari waved a hand as she held the other one to her forehead. _I am starting to feel kind of dizzy... I hope I'm not getting sick... _She exhaled noisily. _My legs feel stiff... _Oni seemed to notice her pause in footsteps and stopped, turned back. _He's saying something...? I can't tell... everything... _Energy was sucked out of her body like a kid's juice from his sippie cup and she fell flat on the ground.

"K-KARI!" Oni shrieked when the energetic girl collapsed to the ground. "K-Kari! Say something, Kari!" He rushed to her side, holding her up slightly. Her breathing was fast, her face was reddish purple, and she shivered endlessly. "K-Kari...?" She coughed twice, weak. Tugging at his heart, he picked her up bridal style (Not being perverted though XD) (Kari: So we hope...) and began running out from the forest. "Hold on Kari, I just need light to see..." In truth, he had no idea what to do. He had never dealt with a sick person... _Village? I think there's a village up ahead, I've never been there before, alright! _He grinded his teeth as his legs carried him almost in flight as he arrived at the village entrance in a few moments. Villagers stared. "Please! Someone help! Where's a doctor!?" He bit his lip as no one responded, and he carried her throughout some more, asking.

"M-My boy! Bring her in here!" A man in priest-like robes opened doors to a small shack. "I know some healing arts!"

"T-Thank-you!" Oni rushed in and gently set Kari on a bed the man instructed him to. "K-Kari..."

"Alright, you're going to have to help me, for your friend's sake. See that bowl? Fill it with those green herbs and pound them together..."

...

"She'll be fine now, she must have eaten some rivberries; they look exactly like raspberries..."

"Thank-you... er..." Oni felt like smacking himself, he hadn't even asked the savior's name.

"My name is Edward, father Edward. I am a priest of this town... Sad place... no one trusts many because of the poverty," Edward opened a veil over the curtain. "It is not their fault... the last man that came to this town stole all the crops and burned the place to the ground... He was very strange, and demanded where to find magic ore..."

"What?.." _Majora?_ "What was his name?"

"Something with a 'M'... He opened a mine a few miles away, he's harvesting magic rock for something... I stay from it, and you should too. He gives off really bad vibes." _Not at all, _Oni thought sarcastically, _he's only a god who plans to live on by raping defenseless girls... _He sighed. "Do you know him?"

"Huh? N-No, only heard of him, I hear he's evil though..." Oni lied as he glanced at Kari again. "I believe she was had a close encounter with him, though." _Too close..._ Anger bubbled in his mind.

"And survived? Amazing! Well, at this point, your friend... er...

"Kari, she's Kari and I'm Oni."

"Ah, Kari, yes, she'll wake up later, but rest is good for her as well. When you start traveling again, make sure to stop frequently." Edward smiled kindly. "Well, I must go for my daily sermons at the church... If you walk around, make sure to lock the door behind you."

"Y... Yeah, sure..." Oni nodded as he pulled a chair beside the bed. "Weird. You're all hyper and you collapse on me, you'd better not be PMSing." He half-wanted her to spring up and yell at him, something. "You're too peaceful when you sleep, you look dead." _I wonder just when she'll wake up... Maybe I shouldn't be here... Maybe I should let her get a break from me... _He stood up, walked out the door, and locked it behind him obediently. The priest had not been lying, Oni assumed as he strolled throughout town. People would stare at him, whisper, and wonder. The main color schemes were brown and dead without a single crop field. There was one pile of hay, but only two or three animals in total. _A small town... I like Termina Main Town better... Not so... gloomy... _

_PLUCK! _He felt his wallet get pulled from his pocket and noticed a young boy with black hair run off as fast as he could. _So poor even kids are stealing, sad. _He turned away, ignoring what had just happened as he sat down beside a dead tree. He watched the kid glance back at him, and wonder why he wasn't chasing him. Gingerly, the kid walked back: "Hey, mister ain't cha gonna try to get your wallet back? Wait... Is there no money!?" The kid searched the wallet but sighed in relief.

"I have no need to. If you want it, take it. Money is merely a solution of metals that have been labeled with value."

"If you're so carefree, can I have your sword?"

"Nope, I draw the line there, bucko," Oni couldn't help but smile. "This sword consists of magic stones found only in the chambers of the four giants, and it's very precious to me. Besides, my wallet has a whole silver rupee, what more does a kid like you need?"

"As much to buy medicine," _Oh snap, for a second I thought he was gonna say Mol pipe weed... Schwoo... _He chuckled quietly. "Unlike you, I don't have money to buy stuff. As you can see, this town is dirt poor but I can't travel because my mom is too sick. If I make her better, we can move to Termina Main Town and start over..."

"Mm, good cause I guess. Here, let me see it," He held his hand out for the wallet but the kid hesitated. "Oh come on, I promise to give it back. I don't need money." When the kid finally gave it to him, Oni's hands began glowing yellow.

"W-What are you doing!?"

"What's your name boy?"

"C-Chas..."

"Chas, then, I hope this helps your mother out," He held the wallet back out and instead of one silver rupee, there were twenty. "Twenty-thousand, if my math is right."

"A-A-Amazing!" Chas exclaimed. "How did you...!?"

"This land isn't fertile, is it?"

"N-No... The soil used to be but Majora, this one man, came and it suddenly died out... And it hasn't rained..."

"Ok then... Let's replenish what my dear enemy has done," Oni strode over to a patch of crunchy dirt and got on his knees, pressing his hands to the ground. "Oh with the power the four giants have invested in me... Oh c'mon, why do I even have to say such a corny thing?" His hands lit afire with green flames, but they didn't burn. "Recolor this land and replenish the life taken by a dark shadow... I, protector of Termina under the four giants' laws," People stopped and stared at him, "give this land new hope." Almost at the last world, color exploded from his hands and the land flooded with green smoke that raced across the dirt in stampedes, people jumped up to dodge it. Where the green smoke went, grass was left behind and the dead tree blossomed with pretty pink petals as well as white blossoms. An old field burst anew with seed lets that in mere seconds grew to full corn stalks... "Let the clouds cry." The words escaped his lips and gray clouds appeared in the sky, and let loose to a calm rain. "Relieve this land."

"I-It's raining!" Chas gasped as he jumped up and touched the falling drops. "It's raining!" Villagers raced outside and into the rain, everyone gathering buckets to keep a steady supply. "Sir, how did you...!?"

"... Kari's advice..." He stood up and the green fire on his hands disappeared. "Chas, I don't think you'll need to move now anyone... Use that money for this village, as well as your mother, alright?"

"Y-Yeah! Of course! Thank-you!" Chas nodded fast at the powerful being that, with one touch of his hands, made a drought end and the land sprout.

"Mm, I've set there to be continual rain, there will be no more drought... When it stops raining, there will always be one rain cloud on its way..."

"O-Oni!!"

"Huh!?" Oni jerked to see Kari on her feet, still red, but healthy looking. "K-Kari!!" He zoomed over. "You're alright!"

"O-Oni, I was only out for a little while! This village... I've been here before, but it didn't look like this..."

"Uh... I guess the simplest way to say was that I took your advice."

"You mean you... Oni, alright!" She hugged him. SHE hugged HIM. Not he hugged her. "You did, didn't you? I knew there was some hidden character." _I wish I could feel warmth about now... _Oni secretly thought.

"Oni, huh?" Oni and Kari looked down to see Chas. "That's your name... Thank-you Oni, I hope I can grow up to someone like you..." As Oni started smiling, Kari cut him off.

"Actually, I don't think you should grow up like him-" Oni put a hand over Kari's mouth and laughed it off.

"You know, we have to leave now, Kari, and Chas probably doesn't want to hear some boring stories. Good-bye Chas, leave you later." He wrapped an arm around Kari's shoulder and had her walk a few feet away before releasing his grip and hand from her mouth. "Trying to ruin a perfectly good moment?"

"I just think he shouldn't grow up like you," Kari folded her arms with a 'hmph.' "We don't need any more perverts in this world of ours, Oni." She grinned when he stuck out his tongue. "But, I have to say," She pat him on the head, "I'm proud of you Oni."

"We shouldn't be too happy..."

"What? Why?"

"I found out Majora is working on harvesting magic ore... People like me use those to make powerful seals... He might be trying to find another way to survive the giants' judgment than yo-"

"Don't remind me!" Kari yelled as she covered her ears. "Terrible! Bitterly disgusting! I'd never want to have his child! I'd prefer having y-" She stopped herself. It was the second she almost said that.

"Y... Y- What?" Oni gained _that_ smile. "Yours? You'd rather have miiiine?" There was a teasing tone in his voice as he spoke.

"S-Shut up! It was a mistake of my mouth! I was going to say having one years later, long time later!"

"Really? Cuz I can arrange that mistake of yours..."

"Agh! Shut up Oni!"

"But you're so cute!"

"Agh!"


	7. GL7: Magic Mine

Info: 7th chapter... Natsuhiboshi, why are you so red? Because I had a sad dream, last night... AGHHH GET OUTTA MY HEAD! ANYWAY! This chapter is more of funny and Majora... DUN DUN DUN! BE AFRAID! BE VEEERY AFRAID!

* * *

"Wait... This doesn't sound all that right... If Majora is controlling the mine, he's probably made many monsters to guard it... Oni, it doesn't sound safe, even for someone like you." On horseback, they were discussing the magic ore mine to the north. "Obviously, he cares about the stones so..."

"Yes, I know," Oni ignored the statistics. "It's because he wants them so much, that I'm worried. Most likely, they are going to be very important to him, and I can't allow him to proceed..."

"..." Kari sighed. Talking sense into the demigod wouldn't change his mind; that was impossible. _He's very serious though... It's almost scary how he gets this way... _"I guess you're not changing your mind, so I shouldn't try anymore." This made his eyes open slightly wider than usual:

"I..." Oni grew a small smile. "I'm happy you're concerned... but you shouldn't worry so much, I'll be fine."

"T-Tch, concerned? Who's _concerned_? I just don't want some knucklehead killing himself before allowing his slave get home to her family who probably thinks she's dead. D-E-A-D, you idiot," Her eyebrow twitched in irritation as she closed her eyes.

"Even after I went through the trouble of getting you your very own horse, knowing you wouldn't want to ride with me," Oni smiled, her reaction delighted him, "you're still not pleased?"

"Hmph," She stared straight ahead, ignoring the question, feeling he was just trying to get her to make another mistake in words. It was actually a still day, no wind, no rain, and even the clouds seemed to hang onto their location in the sky. Finally, they stopped at a fjord that had rocks bulging from the side like steps to the mineral caverns below. "I wouldn't have expected such a place to be... in a pretty place like this." Her gasp was soft and her voice was almost unheard from the roaring water that crashed down on one side of the fjord forming a pool in the deeper areas. "It'll be slippery, wet rocks are hazardous..."

"..." Oni examined the scene before turning to her. "Hold onto my arm, if we're going to climb down, it'll be more difficult for a Terminan..." _Mmm... He... seems serious... but... _"Then again, couldja just hold onto my back, and then I would be able to use my arms more and get down faster and more safely."

"... _Fine_," First to step down on lower ground, after Oni got into a climbing position, Kari wrapped her arms over his shoulders and clasped them together over his chest. "You'd better not try anything..."

"Hun, I may be a god, but falling long distances still can mean certain death," Oni explained casually as he slowly began maneuvering down gingerly. "I'd rather to cautious here; besides, Majora probably has traps and such..."

"But if we were on solid ground, you probably would?"

"Yup, no hesitation," Oni grinned. "Actually, I would hesitate because you'd probably kick me..."

"Yes, unless you planned carefully like that time with the aches from falling..." She made a face.

"O' rly? Thanks for the ideas... O-Ow! Dmn sharp rock..." Oni winced as one of his hands began dripping blood from a cut. "The water hasn't worn at these high rocks... Then again, this used to be a huge river..."

"Really? Cool! What was Termina like back then?"

"I'm not answering anything that will cause you to tease me of my age."

"Aww, why not? You're no fun... Fine, I'm sorry I teased you, pleeeasee?"

"..." _Don't look... at her... Don't... do it..._ He bit his lip... _Dmn you; just couldn't not look at her face... _"Much greener..." The trip down the side of the steep crevasse became short from him explaining the differences of now and then, and when they reached the bottom, Kari tore a section off her sleeves. "What are you...?"

"You cut yourself," She pointed to his hand. "We should tie these around your hand so you don't lose too much blood. Hold still," She commanded and he sat down on a rock silently. "If you lose too much blood, you'll feel dizzy and might end up falling in there, which could be very dangerous if you end up battling creatures. Right? Sorry if this hurts..." She apologized before tying the sleeves tightly around his hand. Being a man, he held back the urge to grunt like it was nothing. "Alright! You're good." She smiled up; she had been on one knee while she tied it.

"Thanks but... I really don't... I really don't understand you..." He was quiet, gazing deeply into her eyes, trying to read her mind, wondering what she was thinking. "I can't tell if you hate me, because the next minute you're doing things like this."

"O... OH," She mouthed the words. "I don't..." She stood up, wiping her hands on her dress. "I don't _hate_ you but..." She tapped her foot impatiently, thinking for words to use to describe thoughts. "Hmm... Er... Huh... You know, I don't really understand myself!" She laughed the conversation off. "But... I think, saying this is weird and most would think I'm crazy but... I think of you as a friend, even if you can get on my nerves sometimes."

"Hm," He stood up. "Let's wreak some havoc here..." Scanning a pathway leading to a hole in the wall, he walked in first, holding a hand back to her, "Watch your step."

"Ah, thanks," Kari took it without second thought and climbed in the hole second. "I don't hear anything quite yet, just dripping water."

"Me neither, but keep your guard up." Silence engulfed them, only running water drops and their steps on the wet ground made noises. As they continued into the deep cavern, torches lit the way and the ground started becoming a cobble brick path, easy to follow. Over time, there were even more torches and they could see an open cavern with a light...

"I didn't actually think you'd fall for it Oni, or at least I thought Kari would have said something," A cold stoical voice greeted them into a circular chamber with some sort of engraved symbol in the center. The walls sparkled with rocks that changed in different shades of blue while the floor had a very distinct pattern of lines leading to the center symbol. Kari grabbed hold of Oni's shoulder, her hand squeezing the cloth together in a bunch. She nervously whispered his name, recognizing the voice just as he did.

"Majora," Oni coldly confirmed and strode out into the room, keeping Kari close behind his protection, "what a fancy seeing you here? Kind of suits you though... Mole. I see you're still using that form of yours... It won't work on Kari."

"No, but more research of mine keeps me this way; it's so much easier accessing libraries of the Terminan world. Besides, in order to have children, you must have much needed chromosomes."

"Yeah, you only have one, and that's all you'll ever get!" Kari yelled before cowering once again, not wanting to see his face.

"Still hung up on having children? At this point, when the giants wake up, they wake up. I'm just going to go with the flow." Oni summoned forth his large blade of two metals. "I won't let you hurt Kari!" He pushed Kari back against the wall before springing forward and slamming all his force down at the spot Majora stood. Teleporting, Majora appeared on the other side of the room.

"Ahahahaha, you haven't fallen for her have you? I mean," Majora held out his hands and some strange balls of mist appeared in them, "falling for you own picked sacrifice? Again? Oh Oni, how low can you get!? HAH!" He thrust the spheres forward, and they buzzed with energy as they followed Oni throughout the room.

"I-I can see you've learned some new tricks!" Oni slashed the orbs and they disappeared. "But it makes no difference!" He ran at Majora, who formed a dark sword and crossed Oni in a chance. "Dmn you...!" Oni grinded his teeth, mad to the bone."

"You're frustrated. You're angry. You're mad at my new strength? No..." Majora saw right through Oni's being. "You're angry with me for what I tried to do to Kari. You're mad at what I'm trying to do. Silly Oni, you're mad because I murdered Saluse, aren't you? You were so madly in love..."

"Saluse..." Oni grabbed at his chest with a pained expression. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP YOU BSTARD! DON'T YOU DARE TALK OF HER! YOU MURDERED HER!" Oni's eyes transitioned to an angry red as he beat the sword against Majora's again and again.

"Ahahahaha! The anger in your eyes, a true look for the _fierce deity_!!" Majora laughed maniacally.

"Sa... Saluse...?" Kari quietly pronounced. _Saluse Rifden? Hanz's... sister? Sal? My friend whom disappeared from a fishing trip? My best friend? The girl who visited everyday and we played tag in the fields when we were little? My friend that... that I never heard from again? My... missing family member? No! It's a coincidence! Saluse died from drowning in the river... She... They found her body, though! They knew she drowned! She was soaked! It couldn't be that... She disappeared because Oni abducted her? Oni took her away from me?_ Kari felt a knot develop in her throat.

"Ah!" Oni flew into the side of the chamber and did not stir to get up.

"O-Oni!" Kari raced over. "Oni! Get up!" She shook him, flipped him to his side but he did not move. "Oni! Oni! This isn't funny! Stop acting!"

"He's not dead, unfortunately, but he will be after I'm finished with you," The sword in Majora's hand vanished and he grew a bitter expression. "He's only knocked out, but that's enough to not bother us, now isn't it?"

"Urk...!" Kari pressed against the back of the wall. _I can't run out of here, he's blocking the door...! What do I do!? What do I do!? Oni! Please get up! _A hand on Oni's back tightened.

"Then again... I will finish him now," Majora stood over her now, his shadow casting over her intimidating-ly. "Then I'll be rid of him for good..." He lifted a hand pointed at Oni, and a bright orb appeared in his palm.

"W-Wait! Please don't! I-I... I won't struggle, please don't kill Oni!" She pulled Oni behind her. "Y-You can... do what you want! I won't resist...! Just please don't hurt Oni!!" She hugged Oni's head to her chest. "He's my friend, please don't Majora!"

"..." Majora stared down at her, his dark eyes scanning her face. "Oni must've fallen for that face," He bent down. "Falling for someone... is quite deadly, don't you think? Even I hesitate at that face..." His hand was placed on her cheek and slowly traced down her chin and continued to her neck. Kari dropped Oni, and moved slightly away from him. She would comply with his orders... as long as Oni was safe. Majora pushed himself over her and she looked away as she was forced still on the ground, tears coming to her eyes as she gazed at Oni's still face. Majora's hands traced her body and she twitched uncomfortably, but she did not move. Cold lips touched pressed to her neck and she heard breathing grow tense, slow, and long. Then she saw Oni's eye twitch and her eyes grow wide. "Something the matter?"

"J-Just nervous..." She said as Oni held a finger to his lips, slowly pulling himself up. _CRICK! _Oni's knee kicked a rock and Majora's ears strained.

"What was-?"

"Y-You're too slow! Kiss me you idiot!" She wanted to die as she pulled Majora's fake Terminan face to hers, smashing their lips together. _D-DISGUISTING! HURRY UP ONI! _Her eyes glared daggers at Oni who was pretending to barf. Slowly, Oni picked up a large rock, and quickly, she felt Majora's tongue push past her lips. "M-mm! MLF!?"

"DIE BSTARD!" Oni bellowed as he slammed the rock fast and forcefully on the god's head, and Majora fell to the ground unconscious.

"AHHHHHHHHH! GROSS! EW! TERRIBLE! HE FREAKING...!! I'm gonna cry!" Kari beat her head and spat in different places.

"S-Sorry, but that's gotta wait!" He swooped her up over his shoulder and began dashing out the cavern, fleeing to the surface above. "Close your eyes!" Oni yelled as he opened a warp and Kari clenched her eyes shut tightly. The weird wind was there, and gone, and they fell on soft grass, hitting the ground hard. "Dear... giants... Holy... hll..." They were side by side, chests rising and falling and they panted. "That was awful..."

"You only got knocked out; you didn't have that jerk French kissing you..." Kari whimpered as she rolled on her side, facing away. "Terrible. Disgusting. As if last time wasn't bad enough... I had to comply with you orders so he wouldn't kill you..."

"..." Oni silently rolled over and placed an arm around her, startling her as she pulled him close to his chest. "I'm sorry. I should've known it was a trap... It was so obvious..." He whispered in her ear.

"That doesn't make any difference... He would've done it to me anyway..." She felt violated. "Somewhere, maybe not today but... My lips are forever contaminated."

"..." He rolled on top of her and planted a soft on her lips. "That probably doesn't help, does it?"

"I-I..." She stared at him, wide-eyed.

"You are mine. Not his..." Oni's eyes were locked with hers, almost causing her to be in a trance. "I love you, Kari."

"W-What?" _I-Idiot...! Those words aren't... aren't supposed to be taken lightly...! _"G... Get off me... I'm not in the mood for your perverted-ness... "

"..." He smiled. "And what if I don't move?"

"Get off me you pervert!" She smacked a shoe in his face and he flew back a few inches, landing with a 'thump' on the grass. As she grew red and angry, he started laughing.

"It worked; the old Kari is back!"

"W-What...? You mean that was to..."

"Let's go find a suitable camp, Kari," Oni walked over and helped her up. "Hey, think of it like this: Majora didn't even take your clothes off... Although, that wouldn't have been too terrible to wake-up to... unless his clothes were off!"

"Agh! You're a perv!"

"But I'm a happy perv!"

"Oni...?"

"Yes my lovely maiden?"

"Thanks."


	8. GL8: Torn

Notes: Sad chapter... Yet bonding chapter... yet... Evil past chapter!

* * *

Oni lay down in bed, hands behind his head and gazed up at the night sky, connecting stars like connect-the-dots puzzle. It was a cool night; the temperature was resting around a comfortable seventy-six with a gentle breeze weaving in and out of trees, which weren't in large numbers. In some sort of plains area, a small river flowed, cutting the long grass plains in uneven halves, and Oni had set up camp next to it.

His eyes were taken by the sky, though. Thinking of yesterday, thinking of days before, and thinking of the last sacrifice. Saluse. He saw her soft kind face in everything, including the very bark of trees. In the river, in the sky, on the ground, even looking at his own hands brought her face and terrible painful memories to his mind. Now, it felt like a two pound stone hung around his neck, and he didn't dare close his eyes, he'd see her clearest there. However, when he examined his hands, a certain improvised bandage made Kari come to his mind, and he stole a glimpse her way.

She was sleeping, slightly curled into a ball, and her head rested on her arms with her eyes gently closed. He smiled. He liked Kari, he was happy having little spats with her, he like her reactions to everything he did... It was fun. Yet... He liked Saluse. He had loved her... He still loved her. He remembered finding her dead in the river and pulled her ashore; he tried everything to revive her. He recalled Majora's evil laughing face as he cried out for her in anguish, how he grabbed her hand tightly and cried. He had cried. He wouldn't try to hide that. What also made her heart ache... was the personality resemblance between the two girls. With the memories brewing, when Kari laughed, he saw Saluse laugh. When Kari cried, he saw Saluse cry. He... didn't know what to do for once in his life.

Oni stood up and walked over to Kari, looking down at her sadly. He saw Saluse sleeping... but he also saw Kari. Sitting down, he watched her breathe slowly and twitch every once in awhile. Resting a hand on her cheek, he wondered if she was warm or cold, he did not know. He had never been able to tell with Saluse either... or anyone for that matter. He lacked qualities and abilities that sometimes he wished the gods gave him instead of power and speed. When he looked at her, Kari, Saluse, he would trade all of his magic, just to feel the warmth in their faces. Then, he'd remember the day Saluse passed on, and thought how cold she must have been, she had drowned in fall, and the water had been freezing and... Death... brought cold into the shells of people. Deep in thought, he hadn't notice Kari's eyes flutter, and open.

"..." They stared at each other for a moment, pure silence, and then Kari screamed, "AHHHH! What are you doing!?" She let her hand fly through the air and slap his cheek to a painful red. "...?" Oni did not move, but he kept the sad face.

"I deserved... it all..." He quietly said.

"W-What? Oni? Are you alright?" Kari blinked twice, not aware or the hurt Oni had already in his heart. "S-Sorry but... Really, are you ok? You're so zoned out..."

"Saluse died from my lack of protection..." This made Kari gasp. _Saluse? My Saluse? His? Someone I don't know...? _"Majora drowned her..." _What...!? _"and I was too late to save her. The cold killed her. The water stopped her breath. I couldn't do anything," His hand clenched his chest in pain. "I-I couldn't... I couldn't do anything...!" He grinded his teeth and slight tears formed on the ends of his eyes.

"O-Oni..." Kari bit her lip and hugged him, her hand wrapped around his head gently. "It wasn't your fault..." _His Saluse drowned? Saluse... were you the last sacrifice? Is that why you disappeared and how we later found you dead? How we found you dead on the riverbanks? I... _"Majora... drowned..."

"I couldn't protect her!" Oni cut her off and couldn't hold in his angry sadness. "D-Dmn...! Dmn it! Idiot, I'm an idiot! Dmn you Majora...! I just-" He stopped himself and pulled away from her. "I'm sorry but... the way you just..." _Just like Saluse...! _His chest throbbed. _Calm yourself, idiot! Don't yell, don't yell! _"I shouldn't have... er..." The anger faded from his face and he clenched his hands tightly closed.

"Oni, you loved Saluse, didn't you?" This cracked him. It broke his guard and he froze up with a blank expression. "You felt the pain you did... because... you may not have known it, but I think you loved her." Kari gained a soft expression; she was intrigued that a god had fallen in love with his sacrifice. "It hurts more than physical pain..." She put a hand on her own heart. "I've felt the same before... but when my grandpa died... I loved him... because he was like my father. I felt that way when my friend's sister died because she... was my best friend..." Kari thought of Hanz and the Saluse she knew. "She and I were sisters in our eyes, and we always will be... because she... She's probably watching me right now, wishing she was here and could help me at any time... We were so alike... yet different..."

"..." Oni watched her silently, listening intently, noticing the more she talked the shakier her voice became. "Then why make bonds? If everyone ends up dying... Why makes bonds that lead to sadness?"

"What? Oni... you're not that stupid..." She smiled. "Because she was my best friend, I laughed so hard and got so many great memories. My grandfather taught me how to walk, how to fish, how to pray... He was my dad, and the fondest memory I have with him is when he'd throw me up over his shoulders and let me sit there... Friendships are made, because they sprout so many gems... Oni, you've had fun times with me, too, haven't you?"

"..." He thought of the last few weeks. "... Yes..."

"See? Everyone has fun with friends and family... People are born to die, that's the god's gift. It's because of that in which people make friends and start families... I want to get married someday and have a kid; it may so like a sucky dream, huh?"

"... No... It's still a dream..."

"Oni, what dreams and goals do you have?"

"... At this point... Mine don't matter. The giants will wake up and I will be destroyed..."

"You didn't answer my question."

"... I guess... When Saluse was alive... I wanted to marry her," He grew an embarrassed smile. "I wanted to live with her, and have children and grow old... But being a deity, I can't. I don't age. I don't feel warmth of a touch and the chill of death... I couldn't."

"That's still a dream... Think of it like this: When the giants destroy you like you say they will... You'll see her again in the afterlife..."

"Not where I'm going." Oni laughed, feeling better. "She was too innocent; she's probably up there laughing at me right now, huh Saluse?" Kari felt a pang of sadness. She couldn't have... fallen for Oni... Even if she had... He loved Saluse. She had no place... in his heart. "But... I've recovered a lot since I knew her... I mean, I met you, and you're always keeping me on my toes." He grinned. She hid the sadness.

"Yeah, well, even if you're my friend, if you try something perverted, expect consequences."

"I know all too well mi lady," laughed Oni once again.

"..." She smiled; a bitter emotion behind it. "Feeling better?"

"Huh? Y... Yeah... Oh! Thank-you hun; that was a relieving conversation." _Oni... -sigh- you're an idiot... If you talk about a girl you love... and then call me that with that smile... you tear me apart. _She grew a small smile. "... You're concerned, you can't hide it!"

"... I wasn't trying to," She rolled away from him and watched the river water flow. _So I help him... and now I'm hurting... Wonderful... _She sighed silently.

"Thank you Ka Ri" Lips pressed against the left side of her forehead, the side closest to Oni. "How about I thank-you _my_ way though, it's bett-"

"Agh! Get off me you pervert!" She pushed him off and curled close to a ball. "Can't even try to get some sleep... Wait, you'd better not be doing things to meat night!"

"What!? N-No! I'm not that shameful! Honest! I'd only do things when you're awake, that's so much more arousing anyway!"

"Ew You're gross!"

"Aww! Let's snuggle!"

"No!"-_pow!-_

"Ochies!"


	9. GL9: Demonic Cutie

Notes: Back to funny! yay, funny! Not much to say... I'm waiting till I get TWO REVIEWS before posting more. Thanks.

* * *

_Heee.. Ohm… _The ground shivered as energy began gathering in one place, yet this was occurring in three other places at the exact same time in the same synchronization. Something long forgotten was stirring... something big.

"Eh, my ear itches," Oni rubbed the long Terminan ear tenderly. "Is yours? Maybe it's something in the air here..." The cave scene was dark but dry, and seemed more like an underground tunnel than a cave, but there was stalagmite and stalactite.

"Mm, no, maybe someone's talking about you; that's how this one myth goes..." Kari was following at a soft pace, avoiding webs that seemed to grow thicker and more bountiful...

"Talking about me? Oh, then that's normal, I suppose," He flashed a short smile. "Some talk about me as an evil god, then those one people I helped probably worship me... and there might be an occasional few ladies that love me."

"Yeah right, that's because they don't know the real you," Kari scoffed and Oni raised a firm eyebrow. "Man... It's so dark... I can't even see my hand anymore! We should turn back..."

"The dark's my friend," She heard Oni and felt something brush across her rear.

"P-Pervert!!" She smacked forward and heard Oni hit the ground.

"O-Ow! What did I do!?"

"What do you mean!? Agh! I want out of here, let's go!"

"Oh, chill out, hold on," Oni exhaled loudly and Kari heard something strike against something else and suddenly, a nice perimeter around them lit up. "See? I brought a freaking tor-"

"Oni? Oni what's wrong? Heelllooo Oni Anybody in that thick head of yours?" She waved a hand in his face. _Almost brain dead... _Kari raised an eyebrow. "Oni I'm scared" She stroked his cheek and grew near him. "Let's go Pleeaaasee...?"

"A-Ah!!" He suddenly jumped. "Although that was incredibly fun, LOOK OUT!" He thrust a hand forward and she turned to see a gigantic skulltula, a spider creature with a skull abdomen.

"H-HOLY SHT!"

"C'mon!" Oni grabbed her arm and rushed forward, only to suddenly get stuck in some sort of web. "What the h3ll? This wasn't here last time..."

"Last time!?" Kari gaped, watching the spiders grow near and start spitting web on their bodies. "There's no time for flashbacks! Get us out of here!!"

"U-Uh, right!" He went to stretch a hand to summon his sword, but one of the spiders glued it straight down and sampled it. "O-Ow! That spider just bit me!" _At least skulltulas don't have venom... _He secretly found relief.

"But that doesn't mean we won't make a tasty side dish!"

"Don't worry, you're already a tasty sidedi-"

"You pervert! There's no time for your nonsense, use the torch or something, idiot!!"

"Oh fine," Oni dropped the torch down to the web, which quickly caught on fire and the spiders crept away like bed bugs from light. Getting slightly scorched, they fell to the floor.

"Ow..." Kari clenched her eyes shut, trying to ignore the pain.

"You know, I'm all dandy and fine with this," She felt arms feel around her and grew a deep red, her eyes jerking open to see that she hadn't landed on the expected dry flooring.

"A-Ack! Lemme go!"

"But why? We have candlelight, it's perfect..." He pushed her to the ground, his hands on her wrists, keeping her down against the floor. "You know, it'd probably be twice as exciting since we just escaped dea-"

"I SAID GET OFF!" _–Kick!- _Oni went flying and made a loud splash in a cave pool nearby. "You're despicable!" She brushed off a strand of his hair on her clothes and shuddered.

"A-Ahhhh! Kari! Help!" Octaraks spat rocks out on his head and rammed into him.

"Yeah right! I'm not falling for that crap! Besides, even if you are in trouble, _you're a god! _What help do you need from a Terminan, you perv?" She began away, stomping the ground in like she was a ticking bomb.

"_Phew!_" Oni pulled himself up from the water and panted, recovering his breath quickly before racing up to catch up with her. "Well that wasn't very nice."

"Neither was what you did, you pervert," Her face flushed with anger and embarrassment. "Almost every stupid day you try something, do you know how tiring and stressful it is?"

"... Are you PMSing?"

"... IF I WERE PMSING I'D BE YELLING-" _Check. _Oni thought. "- AND HITTING YOU-" _Double check._ "-AND I WOULDN'T WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR FACE!" _Check, check, check. _Oni nodded to himself. _She's PMSing._ A slow moan filled the cave and they both dropped silent. "Do you hear..." Oni dipped his head. As they didn't know, a dagger-like stalagmite rumbled in its spot, and almost in an assassin's way, it broke from the ceiling. "Oh wait!" Kari pointed and they jumped from the spot, only to have more stalagmites falling.

"RUN!" Oni yelled and they bolted from that spot, running in zigzag patterns to avoid the falling rock blades. "Left! Right! Stop! Run!"

"Ah!" Kari's dress got caught by the point of a gray slim stalagmite. "C-Crap!"

"Oh great!" Oni pushed her, and fell to the ground.

"O-ONI!"

...

...  
...

"Oni, you're alive."

"What...?" Oni opened his eyes. "OH MY GOD!" The stalagmite fell straight between his legs, mere inches from his favorite thing on his body. "A... Ah... PHEW!" He fell backwards and sighed in long deep relief. "Yes! Safe! And I get to keep my pride."

"You've got to be kidding me, that's your pride?" Kari sat down next to him, staring at him blankly. (--)

"It's what I Iive for," He rolled on his stomach, resting his head on one of his hands. "Besides, not even some thanks for my little heroic act?"

"Alright, thanks," She sighed and patted him on the head. "Can we leave this place now...?"

"Yeah, I bet the skulltulas have already done something with the thing I left here..."

"You put something here?"

"Just chest of powerful magic stones... I use them to power up myself and my sword... I figured, since Majora learned new things, I had to upgrade myself but... We'll just have to go fetch some ourselves then, right?" They were walking out the front entrance, the light almost blinding them at first. "Hey... We had two horses... right?"

"Yup, why do you... Wait... Where did the other horse go!?"

"Is that it over there?" In a far off distance, they noticed a horse rushing into town and disappearing through the Termina Main Town's south gate. "It would seem we only have one horse..."

"-_sigh_- Of course, it's my luck," Kari stepped over to the horse. "We'll just have to use the same one... _for now_."

"Really? I was expecting you to make me run alongside while you use the horse..."

"Oh wait, that's a good ide-"

"Too late, let's go!" He flashed a grin, hopped on the horse, and helped her up in front of him.

"Why am I in front...?" She shot daggers at him, but his happy manner acted as a shield.

"Why's it matter?" He used one hand to hold the rein and the other slithered around her stomach. "I wouldn't want my dear honey to fall off and get a little scratch-" His hand slipped up her stomach and rubbed against her chest, making the hair on the back of her neck rise.

"AGH! You never learn!" –_Bam!_- Her elbow smashed into his gut and he flew off the back of the horse, hitting the ground with a thud and dizzy eyes. "I should have this horse trample you!"

"Why did I choose such a willful sacrifice...?"

"Indeed, why!?"

"Mm, why? Because you amuse me!"

"Amuse!? I'm not some sort of entertainment!"

"Aw, but you're so cute when you're angry!"

"Y-You...! You...!"


	10. GL10: The Deadly Tea Pot

Oni and Kari slipped inside the inn, wet and dripping extremely. Stopping at a town Oni had not been quite yet, and was allowed to actually enter, they planned to stay overnight to let the storm pass that had come from the east. Alas, it had been the third inn in the city they had been to, others had developed the very same idea and most of the inns were stocked full of travelers. Walking to the front desk, the receptionist greeted kindly: "Hello, welcome to the Fernsid Inn, how may I help you?"

"Do you have... you know, any available rooms?" Oni took off his hat and twisted it, the water falling into a bucket that the innkeeper had actually put out for that very reason.

"Ah... We have one single room, and a couple's suite."

"We'll take the couple's/Single." Oni and Kari spoke at the same time. (Oni said couple's while Kari said single.) While Oni repeated his choice, Kari glared at him.

"Alright, enjoy your stay. Here's your key... Please don't get too wild." The receptionist smiled and Kari blushed a deep red, paralyzed, while Oni grinned.

"Why, thanks, and we won't be a burden, come on hun," Oni wrapped an arm around Kari- who was still partially stunned- and led her off to the correct floor, opened the door, and they walked inside. Finally, Kari snapped out of it. _Only one bed. _Her eye twitched unhappily.

"You're sleeping on the couch," Kari strode forward, sitting down on the bed.

"What? Afraid we'll get _wild_ sweetie?" Oni teased and Kari's eyes flickered angrily. "You're so serious, Kari, have a little fun in your life." He shook his head and set his silver windsock hat on a nearby dresser. "Anyway... I don't know about you, but I'm going to take a nice hot bath and warm up."

"I thought you can't feel temperature...?"

"Pretty much, but I still love taking a bath after being in the rain, it is relaxing nonetheless," He beamed before going to the bathroom and starting to get undressed.

"C-Close the door you idiot!" Kari dashed over and slammed the door shut, and then went back to sitting on the bed. "He has no respect or thoughts whatsoever... Who the heck gave him this personality?"

"The giant from the Termina Bay Area. He's a cool dude." A voice responded from the bathroom and Kari smacked her forehead. _Don't speak aloud._ She thought silently. Laying back, with her head on a soft feathery pillow, Kari relaxed. Time passing quickly as she dozed off, Kari jerked awake feeling a hand touch her forehead.

"Ah! Don't do that!" She scolded Oni as she worked on recovering her breath.

"Sorry, but I couldn't keep my hands off ya," Oni paraded _that _smile, which she actually hadn't seen in awhile. "Actually, I'm headin' down to the bar... Why don't you get yourself some dinner, and then chill or something... I figure we might as well enjoy our time here." He held out some money which she took, but with some hesitation. "Anyway," Oni rubbed a towel around his head once more before throwing it into a dirty laundry basket, "see ya later."

"Right... Don't get drunk!" The door shut and she folded her arms. "I'm guessing he's probably going to eat down there, too... Oh well, I get some privacy at least..."

_**AFTER KARI ATE**_

"... That idiot," Kari stopped in front of the door. "There's only one key... I have to go get it... Argh..." Sighing intensely as she sauntered down the stairs and into the crazy bar. Instantly, she was engulfed by loud music, drunken laughter, and terrible singing. "Oni... Why did you have to come here?" She squinted, straining her vision to finally see the exotic platinum hair man sitting at the counter. "Oni, hey, Oni!"

"Wha...?" When he looked over at her, his face was covered a deep red and she sighed. _Great... he's drunk..._

"I need the key. KEY. Golden object, slightly rusted... The key!"

"Huh? Hey! Man! One beer for my girl!" Oni raised a finger and the man at the counter laughed. Kari dipped her head, trying not to smack him upside his head. "Wha do ya wan' girl?"

"I need the key. The key to our room..."

"Oh! The kay! Hold on..." He started patting his pockets.

"Geez..." She sighed and suddenly froze as a hand grabbed her butt. "EK! She jumped away, flying to Oni's other side. "You pervert!" Oni's eyes flickered and his fist soared through the air, punching the man to the point where he flew to the other side of the room.

"Anee-one else touch my girl and they'll get the tiger!" He made a funny pose and Kari began pushing him out the room.

"No more beer for you, you drunkie," She sighed yet again, and finally got him into the room, before locking it. "No more going out tonight, we're just going to chill her-"

"I am the durncing king! Young and sweet! Only a thousand and three!" Oni danced on the bed, swirling around.

"You are old," She shook her head in disbelief. "Oni, calm do-"

"I'm havin' the time of my life OOoooo see that boy! Watch that scene! Diggin' the durncing king!" Oni fell flat on his back before sitting up. "You kno' I see us getting' married, and driving off into the sunset with twenty horses cuz' we have ninety-six kids!"

"You're adopting."

"Does that mearn yes?" Oni stuck out his tongue.

"NO! That doesn't mean yes! O-Oni! Keep you clothes on!"

"It's gettin' hot in here! So take off all your clothes!" Oni threw off his shirt. _Note to self: Don't let Oni drink. And carry rope on you more often... _She stared at him blankly.

"Keep your pants on, idiot!" She pushed him off the bed and sat on him. (Disabling his movement.) "Someone is a little too crazy and will wake-up tomorrow with a major headache. Until then, you need to chill out 'Mr. Durncing King."

"..." He frowned for a split second. "You're puurrrty."

"..." _Don't punch him. Don't kill him...! Just a joke! _"Screw this! You're dead! GET BACK HERE!" Kari grabbed a vase and began chasing the 'durncing king' with it.

_**NIEGHBORS**_

_Thump! Bam! Slam! _Loud thumps on the wall made an elderly married couple glance at each other.

"Young folks these days. Crazy things. They must be newlyweds."

_**BACK TO ONI AND KARI**_

"There! Now go to sleep!" Kari pushed a tied up Oni onto the couch before stomping her feet on the floor as she climbed into bed, twitching angrily. It was finally silent though...

"I'm a little tea pot, short and stout... Here is my handle, here is my spout." (Kari: -_head/pillow_-)

...

...

...

(next day)

"AHHHHHHHHH!!" _Slap!_

"OW!"

"You pervert!" Kari yelled as she kicked Oni off the bed. "How the heck did you get untied!?"

"You tied me up...? And why were we both in that bed together?" Oni rubbed his head. "What DID we DO last night?"

"AHHH! Not that!"

"Quiet down... I have a headache..."

* * *

Author Notes: This chapter is meant to be funny... Did it work? (Cuz I'm a little tea pot...) Anyway, get ready for serious chapter, because I need to advance in the plot. Alas, I'll keep it as funny as I can... By the way- IMPORTANT- there will be two "books" to this series. So when this one ends... There WILL be a sequel! :D


	11. GL11: There Will Be Love

Author Notes: LAST CHAPTER! HOWEVER, THEY'RE WILL BE A SEQUEL!

* * *

"Chao!" Oni waved good-bye to the receptionist after turning in the room key. Now leaving the inn, Oni and Kari were probably going to wander again... Did Oni even have a set destination? Kari doubted it. "Well, I s'pose we should be on my way, hun, ladies first," Oni helped Kari up onto the painted horse before climbing on after. "

"..." Kari stared ahead with deep thought, not quite listening.

"Kari? Earth to Kari, anybody?"

"O-Oh! Sorry!" Kari flustered before dipping her head apologetically. "I was just thinking..."

"Really? Of what?" Oni flicked the reins and the horse began casually trotting through town. "You were very spaced out."

"Uh... Just... uhhh..." _Would if be weird if I asked? _"Just about when you were drunk... You said you were a thousand and thre-"

"No comment," His face flushed and his eyes avoided looking directly into hers, it was the truth.

"Oh wow! You're so old.. Older than my great-great-great... well, you get the picture."

"What else did I say when I was drunk...?" This made Kari grin and left a small laugh out.

"Someone's nervous," She stuck out her tongue playfully, only to put it back when he threatened to bite it. "You said a lot of crap... You were singing 'durncing king...' and 'I'm a little tea pot...' And I recall something about..." _Ninety-six freaking kids...! _Her hand balled to a fist and Oni squinted her eyes, preparing to dodge any attack. "And..." Her face blushed a deep red. _You're puurrrty._Those words flashed in and out of her mind. _Hurry! Think of something else!! _"And you, stupid idiot, starting stripping, do you know how hard it was to tie you up so I could sleep in _peace_?"

"Ahhh Well, that part doesn't seem so bad," Oni gently touched her cheek. "But maybe it was to you."

"W-What!? N-No way! Wait..." She recollected her thought as Oni grinned. "Ahhh! No! It was bad! I mean, wait, GAHHH! Stop confusing me!!"

"Ka-wa-ii," Oni hugged her from behind. "You're so cute when you're confused, or angry, or-"

"I don't wanna know," Kari smacked her forehead, sighing exasperatingly. "Do you have an off button? 'Cuz I think it'd be really nice to have some peace and quiet..."

"I think I have something like that of which will shut me up," A playful tone danced in his eyes as his special smile too big for his face appeared sheepishly. Kari raised a fist, and he flinched, but she lowered it and sighed once again, slightly using his chest as a back to some invisible chair. "Hm," He rested his head on her shoulder, making her twitch. "It's not that I can feel warmth or anything but... There's comfort when I do this..."

"S-Sure you're not j-just being a p-pervert?" Red paint slapped across her face and out of the corner of her eye, she glanced at him. He had his eyes closed, and a serene expression making her quickly stare ahead with a tomato face.

"I'm sorry; you probably want to hit me right now, huh?" He lifted his head away and paid attention the dirt path ahead, they just left the town's north gate.

"I-I... wasn't going to..."

"??" He cocked his head. "Oh! I must've kept you awake for a long time last night, sumimasen (1)." _.. He... _Kari winced as she gazed into the ripples of a running stream. "This bridge doesn't look so great... Oh well, I bet this horse can handle it..." _Doesn't know anything. _She closed her eyes. _CRACK! What the!? _When her eyes jerked open, she only realized she was falling as well as see Oni and the horse also tumbling to the cold shallow water below. _SPLASH! _She landed really rigidly and felt a pain pulse starting from her leg, making little tears bubble from the corner of her eyes. "Ow..."

"S-Sssst! Ah! Waahhhh!" She couldn't hold back the tears from the pain. The horse swiftly got up and dashed away, startled by the entire event and her scream. From its feet, the cold water whipped against her cheeks and only made her cry worse. What was the pain? Why was it so bad? What happened? "Waaaahhhhhh!" She felt herself gasp for air between the hysterical cries. Why was she crying so hard? Why was this so different?

"K-Kari!" Two hands pulled her up from the freezing water and her tears seemed to pause in place, everything was happening too fast for her to comprehend... "Kari, it's ok, it's ok," She was being cradled? She was quite aware that the tears were slowing down, but she was too stunned to say anything. Oni smiled as the tears stopped, "Are you alright?"

"..." She swallowed. "Y-Yeah but..." She slowly rose to her feet but a sickening crack made her bit her lip so hard it bled. "My leg..."

"... Ok, I see," Oni nodded as he hoisted her into a piggyback position. "I don't know about you, but I think we'd better first work on getting to a dry place before using the bandages. Stupid bridge..."

"Heh..." A tiny short-lived laugh escaped her lips. "It's the hardest to..." When she started thinking aloud, Oni's ears perked up. "... when things like this happen... not to cry..."

"You can cry, Kari," Oni said as he began walking across the forest floor, making a symphony of leaves being crushed by his boots. "Everyone cries once in their life... Even a deity like myself."

"You've cried?" Kari's tears were drying up and being absorbed by her cheeks. "Probably over..." _Saluse._

"Yeah..." Oni dipped his head. "..." Oni sighed, the memories had been shoved to the deepest crevasses of his mind, and although he had once cried over Saluse, the sadness was fading. Suddenly, something familiar passed through his mind. _Come... to us... Oni... _A voice invaded his head making him flinch on the spot.

"Oni?" Kari examined his frozen face, but her voice could not reach him. _Come to us... Oni... Come..._ "Oni...!"

"S-Sorry...!" Oni shook his head, snapping out of it. _That was... No... Just my imagination... they can't be... awake...! _"U... Uh, here's good... let's get you a cast going..." _Have they..._ Suddenly the world seemed so quiet and his fast worried breathing became so clearly audible. As Kari spoke, he only heard his breathing and thoughts. As leaves fell, he only saw the faces of them. As his hands wrapped her leg tightly with a bandage, a sweat bead skimmed down his cheek and he couldn't keep his eyes from widening. _Could it really be... they've awoken? Yet, if that's true..._ "Kari, we have to go a different direction... I need to check something out, ok?" He tried to hide the serious tone of voice, but Kari bit her lip, seeing right through his act. "Will you let me carry you?"

"S... Sure..." _Swish! _Leaves brushed against his skin as he kicked off each branch he passed, keeping a steady swift speed. _Cherk! _His boots beat against the trees' arms and he felt the spiritual power in the area increasing as he ran, something definitely was up. _Oni... _Kari's grip on his shoulders increased for a moment, but loosened again as she rested her head on his shoulder. _Why won't you tell me what's wrong? Why won't y- _The thoughts fell dead as they came upon a clearing and the clouds in the sky seemed to be circling...

"..." Tall figures stood opposing one another in the four cardinal directions. Huge with reddish brown skin, the figures had long arms and legs, and a circular center body pieces that had eyes, a nose each, and had green leafy "hair." Kari's mouth dropped while Oni clenched his teeth tightly shut.

"You came," One of the figures spoke. "We are happy we did not need to search for you... Oni..."

"Oni... These are...!" Her hands tightened, not wanting to let go, suddenly aware of the entire situation. She was suddenly remembered: Oni was a god. Oni was not mortal. Oni was not a Terminan. Oni was a god. Oni carefully slipped Kari off his back but pulled her close.

"Oi! What kept ya Oni?" Another one of the giants spoke, his voice much chipper than the last.

"I was..." Oni pushed her head against his head; she heard his speeding heartbeat and realized something: He was slightly afraid.

"Alright! Score! That's my creation!" One of the giants, from the direction of Terminan Bay, called out with a smile. "See guys?" He glanced around at his spiritual equals. "I told ya looks are important!"

"..." The other giant stared at the rest as if they were just crazy.

"But... Oni did not get this girl with her will, now did he?" The serious one began talking again. "You abducted her, Oni. You were taking sacrifices from Terminan Central Town this entire time we slept."

"Well... Not the entire ti-"

"Oni! This is no time for nonsense!" His yell made the world rumble angrily. "It is time for your purgatory!"

"Knew it..." Oni winced and took a step forward. "Then I'll have no regrets. You're just going to zap me away... Right?" As the giants nodded, he sighed and turned to Kari. "Well, Kari, get going. You're free as a bird, return home and help your grandma, hang out with Hanz and such... I'd like to say 'it's been fun' and just leave but... That dude is right... I took ya away from home, yada yada yada... Guess this is good-bye, Kari... so..." Oni smiled with a small wave. "Chao." Just like that, he began walking away from her. Just like that, without any other words like... _Why would he say that? It's not like..._ Without her logic's approval, her legs carried her forward, but she forced herself to stop, a mere three feet away from him.

"So you're leaving..." Her hands tightened into fists. "No proper good-bye? Where do you get your manners, idiot?" He faced her, his eyes were wide with wonder. "When people decide their paths are splitting... They... shake hands... and say good-bye." She was surprised to see him obey and stride back, holding out a hand. Staring at it for a moment, forgetting what she had said, she took it sadly. "Good... bye..."

"..." –_Squeeze_- "I'm going to miss such a girl," He flashed a soft grin. "Don't give others too much trouble, ok?" When he let go, she felt the comforting warmth leave as well and felt her body lack the heat she desired. Needed...? "If I'm ever consciously aware of myself and memories... I'll definitely remember you. Good-bye, Kari," Walking away again, it hurt him more than it did before. It hurt her more than it just had.

"Y-You can't go, Oni...! You do have people who want you to stay! You have been changing in your ways...!" Kari yelled after him. "Think of that little boy from the village you helped... Think what Saluse would've wanted for you...! Think of...! Think of..." She bit her lip, no matter what she just couldn't push out the words. "Stay for... for me..." Her arms wrapped around herself, as if she felt cold. Not aware of it, but her face was growing red from the sadness, and tears were beginning to materialize from her tear ducts. "Oni...! Please...!" Once again, Oni turned back and this time, when he approached her, he held up a hand to her forehead.

"I think... if you're gonna cry over me... it's best you forget me, go to sleep... Kari..." His word suddenly brought exhaustion over her body. "Enter the dream world and feel everlasting happiness... if you do that... I'll be fine as well," She began falling forward, and he caught her in the slouch position, her head just about to his chest. "It's easier... for both of us... this way..." Scooping her up like a new bride, he looked to the four giants. "I request permission to take her home... Then I'll accept this punishment without struggle."

"After Majora, we'd like that," The bay giant nodded making Oni bow his head in thanks. Only seconds later, he stood on a doorstep of a small little cottage surrounded by a field of flowers. It was night, the lights were out except for the flashlights of the sky that twinkled cheerfully. A light wind kissed the ground and he gently set her down on the porch.

"It's better... this way... so you won't b saddened by my memory," Oni kneeled to the ground and brushed a hand against her cheek. "I never want you to cry over me... I never want you to cry, period. Live... happy. Live... prosperous... Find a good guy who isn't afraid to tell you how he feels without saying it was a joke. My last gift to this world that I totally messed up will be... a blessing for you." He pressed his lips delicately against her forehead and then sighed. "How I wish I could feel your warmth... because... It's more important to me than... Saluse's... or anyone's... I..." He shook his head and stood up. "Good-bye Kari, please live as cute and innocently as you have, ok?" With another gust of wind messing with his hair, he dipped his head, not wanting anything, not even the flowers, to notice he was crying. _Knock... Knock... Knock... _Tapping on the door with a fist, he gave the girl, that he wish he had been able to learn more about, one last look before dashing off into the night's camouflage. Even in the distance, he heard the door open and smiled. _I'll... miss you more than this world itself, Kari. I'll miss you as long as.. as I can. Because... as I am some particle,_

_Then there will be my love for you._

_..._

_..._

_..._

_**END**_

Author Notes: THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL! VERY SOON! Like... in a few days! I hope you enjoyed the first book of GOD'S LOVE! Kari and others will be back... But as for dear Oni...

You'll just have to read and see.


	12. GL12: Bloopers

Author Notes: This is a blooper chapter, just to make you laugh even more.

Oni- Does this mean Kari's going to be hitting me a lot?

Kari- ... Maybe.

* * *

Scene 1 (Taken from chapter 9)

Kari- Oni? Oni what's wrong? Heelllooo- Oni- Anybody in that thick head of yours? Oni- I'm scared-" (_Strokes cheek_) Let's go Pleeaaasee...?

"A-Ah!!" (_Oni jumps_) "LOOK O-... Wait a minute... Author-lady! The prop manger forgot the skulltula AGAIN!

Author "lady" (Me): What...? OH GOD! NOOEZ! THE HORRORS! HE LET OUT THE ARABIAN FLYING PANCAKES OF DOOM!

Kari- What? AHHH! (_Runs away, like me_)

Oni- ? _(Grabs syrup)_ Pancakes! Pancakes! Eat 'um while they're fresh! Don't look now, but I ate the rest!

Author/ Kari- I can't believe he just made a song out of that.

* * *

Scene 2 (taken from... No chapter.)

Author- Sorry folks, we're still setting up the sce- NO! BSTARD! THAT WAS MY FINAL SMASH! Oh... Sorry, I'm playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl with the cast...

Kari- Ah-ha! Take that! _(uses yet another final smash)_

Oni- Kari, Author Lady, whatcha doin'?

Majora- Something you'll never beat me at-

Oni- VAT!? VET ME VEE! _(snatches my controller T-T) _What the? The little person on the screen looks just like me!.. Except...

Author- That's because it's LINK. Oni, Link is the carrier of the triforce piece of cour-

Oni- He's gay, he's wearing tights.

Author-... Then what are those, you're wearing?

Oni- Leggings.

Everyone (excluding Oni)- XD

* * *

Scene 3 (taken from ch. 10)

Kari- Oni, I need the key. You know, it's rusted... gold... copper...? ish?

Oni- Hey! Man! One beer for me girl!

Kari- ... EEP! SON OF A BTCH DID YOU JUST GRAB MY ASS!? _(pulls out shotgun and points it to the guy behind her._)

Oni- Wait... Wasn't I supposed to punch him?

Kari- You're supposed to be drunk too.

Oni-... Well... Well...! You're not supposed to have a shotgun! Author lady! Is she going to shoot me with it? I don't think I'm THAT invincible... Pweease? I'll even make it up to you later tonight...

Author- ... Kari, shoot him.

* * *

Scene 4 (Random scene between Oni and Majora)

Oni- Hey Majora, guess what?

Majora- ...

Oni- I SAID GUESS WHAT!!

Majora-... What?

Oni- My sword's bigger than yours! :D

Majora- ... And what are you trying to say?

Oni- I'm manlier.

Majora- (_smack forehead_) I've just lost twenty iq...

(That idea was NOT mine. I actually just read a small comic with it before.)

* * *

Scene 5 (Taken from... ch... I don't know, just when Oni and Majora were fighting the first time.)

Oni- Alright Majora, let's settle this properly...

Majora- Yes, it's about time we do...

Both- ... (change into cowboy suits with hands on their guns.) 1... 2... 3!

Oni- Rock paper scissors-

Majora- Shoot! (makes a rock)

Oni- (makes rock)

Majora- rematch! 1, 2, 3! (makes paper)

Oni- (makes paper)

FIVE HOURS LATER

Kari- Has anyone won yet?

Author- Nope.

* * *

Scene 6 ( while stage is being set up...)

Kari- Author, I haven't been able to remember my lines all the time... It's really hard when you have to work with knuckle heads.

Oni- A knucklehead? Where, I'll have him stop givin' ya trouble!

Author/ Kari- (exchange glances) --

Majora- Hey, when's lunch bre-

Kari- EPPP! (smacks with shoes)

Majora- ow! What was that fo-

Kari- AHH HE'S NOT DEAD! (smacks with other shoe)

Majora- Ow... STOP I-

Kari- HE'S ALIVE!? (reaches for shoe, doesn't have one...) Hey Oni, can I borrow your boot?

Oni- Uh, sure ok (hands boot)

Kari- TAKE TH-

Oni- But you're going to have to give me something in return. (That smile)

Kari-.. (glances at hurting Majora, glances at Oni, back and forth, with one boot.) DIE! (Smacks Oni. Then Majora. Then some random guy passing by.)

* * *

Scene 7 (Curse of :D)

Oni- Hey, author lady, what are you doing? (Pokes head)

Author- I'm reading stories about the legend of Zelda... PFFFT! AHAHAHAHAHA!

Oni- What's funny? I wanna know what's funny (turns computer screen) WHAT!? I AM NOT GAY! (puppy eyes with tears.) These people are so cruel.

Author- Well, they paired you with major-

Oni- THEY WILL AL DIE!! (Runs off)

Kari- hey, what was he freaking out for?

Author- Oh, just some fans pairing him with Majora.

Majora- You cal- WHAT THE HLL IS THIS!? THESE BEINGS SHALL BE DESTROYED WITH NO MERCY! I AM NOT A GIRL! (runs off.)

Kari- Someone's PMSing.

* * *

Scene 7 (taken from when Oni summons pots and pans for Kari.)

Kari- you know... Pots... pans... WE CAN'T EAT OFF LEAVES FOR PETE'S SAKE!

Oni- Ok... Hold on... (summons.)

Kari- 0.o Dirty birdie. I see what you do in spare time. (A bra fell on top of Oni's head.)

Oni- What!? Author Lady!

Author- Don't look at me, I'm not the one who writes this crap.

Oni- But your name is author lady... (face puffs up red)

Author- Uh... MAJORA DID IT!

Majora- What? (knitting)

Kari/Oni/Author- Girly Boy.

Majora- I-I am NOT g-girly! (has an embarrassed girl's face)

Oni- O Rly? Cuz if you grew out your hair... Changed your clothes... and showed that face more often... AND IF YOU WEREN'T MY BROTHER BY MAGIC- I'd have done you by now.

Author/Kari/Majora- Dude, WTF?

* * *

This might have seemed a little stupid to you, but I was hoping to give you a few more laughs... Anyway, please keep checking up for the sequel: TRUE SELF. I hope you enjoy it, very much.

Oni- Do I come back alive? Author lady?

Author- The world may neva know.


	13. UPDATE

Dear readers,

I'd like to take this time and tell you, the sequel to this story is UP and RUNNING! That said, I do hope you'll continue your patronage and keep reading. Also, if you have any ideas that you think would be funny, please post them in your reviews. Oh yeah, the sequel is called: "True Self." And is located on my profile with a link, as you should know... Also, could you leave a final review on this story, stating how you liked it overall? I'm just getting statistics.

- Shortslover911

P.S For character pictures, please check my profile for deviant art links

* * *

Majora- I'm amazed, that letter actually sounded serious.

Author- And what's THAT supposed to be!? (holding rolled up newspaper)

Majora- N-Nothing oh wise one! (bows head, quickly backs up while Oni, Kari, and others enter the room) Oh, speaking of the devil...

Author- But we weren't talking about th-

Oni- I'm notta devil! ... I'm a sexy beast. (smirk)

Kari- And an idiot who knows no boundaries and lost his brain a LOOONG time ago.

Oni- What!? I am too smartiful!!

Everyone but Oni- ...

Majora- Riiight... I'm just gonna... help get the set ready... for the sequel... yeah...

Author- Oh! No! I actually have something else for you! (hands paper)

Majora- ... That's... nice...? (turning crimson red)

Author- Huh?? (snatches paper) Wait a minute!! (E GASP!) ONIII!!

Oni- Uh oh... (backing away) It was just an innocent letter! (running away for dear life)

Author- INNOCENT MY (Beeeeepppp) (broom attack)

(author and Oni disappear from studio)

Kari- What did it say?

Majora- N... Nothing... (crumbles letter, tosses in trash, quickly walks away)

Kari- ... (glances at trash... takes out letter) "I want to (bleep) and (bleep) you..." ZOMG WTF!? MY EARS!!


End file.
